Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Celebrating and Completing 2008

Happy Holidays Everyone!!

Since some of you have contacted me requesting my “Year Closing Exercise” I thought I’d post it on my blog again, as a holiday gift from my heart to yours! I have tweaked it a bit as I do every year, and have just added a brand new powerful emotional/forgiveness clearing exercise. It came through me as I was contemplating how I might come to peace with respect to a personal friendship that ended this year. As I completed it myself, I was in awe of the powerful emotional healing I experienced.

This is a two part exercise. First we acknowledge and celebrate ALL that you’ve accomplished in 2008. Take the time to acknowledging yourself, your efforts, your contribution, your successes and wins and even the perceived failures as there were gems to be gleaned from them too which makes them a success! Hopefully you’ve been expressing self gratitude all year round – and if not, this is the time to really let yourself have it!! Celebrate!!

In part two, you get to clean up any unfinished business – whether that is on a physical or emotional level. I love what Caroline Myss advices on wounded stories – tell it three times and then move on! I see the end of the year as a good time to consciously move on; to release any disempowering stories and the emotions connected to them that affect your energy so as not to drag them into the New Year. Sometimes letting go of the story and feelings IS as simple as deciding to do so, while other times it isn’t as simple as that. When it isn’t that easy, there is often more to learn from the experience, for our own personal growth and for that reason I have included some exercises that help facilitate the release of as much as possible now.

Ideally, you complete the exercises prior to the year’s end, consciously entering the New Year full of gratitude and ready to focus on what you want to consciously create in 2009.

In summary, part one is about reviewing and celebrating the year. This is an opportunity to recall and possibly gain further awareness or insights from the events of 2008. Part two is about releasing, forgiving and expressing gratitude for all of the events that made up 2008.
The exercise may take you from one hour to as much time as you need to complete.
So go get your 2008 journal, diary, day timer, agenda and anything else that will help jog your memory of the past year as well as a pen and paper. Get nice and comfy, creating a sacred environment for yourself - light some candles, burn some incense and have some tea, wine or favorite beverage.

Part One
The Year’s Review

Review the events of the year and take some time now to gain whatever more you can from the experiences. We all know the value of hind sight – time and distance provide a new perspective from which we can glean more insights from the more challenging and memorable events of our life.
Starting with January of 2008 ask yourself the following questions and work your way forward to now:

What were the key events of 2008
What did you learn as a result of these experiences? What else?
Who was involved in your life this year and in what capacities? What part of you did they reflect? What part of you, reflected in them, did you accept or reject?
What and who assisted in your growth this year?
What obstacles have you overcome?
What goals did you accomplish?
How did you contribute your ‘self’ and talents this year? To whom?
How were other people impacted by your contribution to their lives over the past year? (Be generous here!!)
What goals did you set and did not yet accomplish? Are you complete with this goal? Is it time to let it go or recommit with same alterations perhaps?
Did you stretch beyond your perceived abilities - meaning do things you didn't think you could or would have done in prior years.
How are “you” different from who “you” were in January of 2008

Cleaning up 2008

If you find yourself having any unpleasant emotional responses in respect to any of the events of the past year, here are some methods to use that will serve to guide you towards the core of these emotions helping you release them. No need to do them all and doing a combination may be valuable. The variety is offered to honor that one method does not necessarily fit all!

1. Ask yourself: What is still triggering me? What more can I learn from this event that I simply haven’t recognized yet? Take a step back and look at the experience objectively, as if it happened to someone else. See yourself in the situation, as if you are looking at a movie. From this position, what do you notice that is new, different? What else can you now learn from this perspective that wasn’t as clear before? It may help to discuss the situation with someone who wasn’t involved.

2. Close your eyes, center yourself, take a few deep breaths… that’s right… right from the diaphragm. Picture the person that you still have an emotion towards in your minds eye, or think of them and feel their vibration. Ask them “What other message(s) do you have to offer me?” Listen. Then go within and ask if there is a message you have for them. Listen. If it feels appropriate to communicate a message directly to the other person, do your best to do so prior to the years end; by voice, in-person or by writing. If it does not feel appropriate to do so, write it down and then tear it up or burn it.If you did get a message for them, ask yourself how this message could possibly assist you as well. (often the advice we get for others applies to us as well ;) )

3. Close your eyes, center yourself, take a few deep breaths… that’s right…right from the diaphragm. Go over the experience in your mind. Notice the emotions that are arising within you. Are you being reminded of any other past event? If yes, what are the similarities? Can you recall any events just prior to the one you are exploring? What you are doing here is making a connection to how you attracted the experience to yourself in the first place and you may possibly recognize a pattern that you may be attracting. What you learn from the experience now, may assist you in not repeating the pattern again.

4. Write it out. Write out the experience and your emotions. While writing ask yourself questions to lead you to more understanding, such as; What does this emotion tell me about how I really felt? If I knew of another experience that had the same feeling connected with it, what might it be? How would I have interpreted this event without this feeling? What were the facts? What am I making the facts mean? What else could they mean? Is the feeling connected to the facts or what I made the facts mean? What happens emotionally when I change the meaning of the facts? Continue with any questions to come to you until you feel complete.

This final exercise is powerfully effective in connecting with any remaining emotions such as hurt, regret, disappointment, betrayal or even anger that you may still be feeling towards a person. Over the past year many of us had some more challenging experiences that contributed to our growth, however may have included painful circumstances in order to facilitate our evolutionary journey. These included experiences that may have felt like you’d been betrayed, abandoned, lied to, deceived or just left you confused. If when you think of the person(s) involved and are still feeling like authentic forgiveness is a big leap, then this final exercise may provide the deeper insights and lesson to free your self, allowing forgiveness to heal and release. I do feel a responsibility to add a word of caution before completing this one:

Do not complete this exercise if you are healing emotions from sexual abuse, physical abuse or rape. This exercise is not ideal for extremely strong emotions that a person may have from more traumatic experiences, where they may have been harmed physically or deeply psychologically. If you have had such an experience and are looking to release the emotions associated with such traumatic events, please speak to your psychologist or a licensed therapist.

Reflection Exercise

For this exercise you’ll need a mirror and a candle. You can either stand or sit in front of one, ensuring you’ll be in a comfortable position to complete the exercise.
Light the candle, positioning it within easy view, while consciously connecting to your higher self, god self, greater self – that part of you that is loving and wise beyond reason.
Once you feel this connection, look into the mirror and think about the person whom you still are not feeling at peace with, that you want and are ready to let go of.

Thinking of this person, while looking into your own eyes, imagine that you are looking into their eyes. Notice how you feel as you think of this person and see them in your reflection.
Whatever emotion you are feeling towards them, you are also feeling towards a part of you.
Ask: “ What part of me is this feeling about?” Listen for the answer. If the answer feels incomplete, simply take a deep breath in and out, remaining focused on seeing their face and eyes as you are looking at yours, connected to your greater self and either repeat the question or request “Tell me more.”
When you feel you’ve connected to the deeper insight or lesson, ask: “How do I let this feeling go? What is required of me?”
Wait for the answer.

Remember all choices are yours. Follow the guidance of your greater self. If for any reason you do not feel able to fulfill it’s (your) request, continue the conversation by stating so and ask how else…. Continue conversing with your greater self, while maintaining eye contact in the mirror and imagining it is the other person whose eyes you are gazing into.

Ask; “Is there anything else I need, in order to be at peace with …. (name of person) and the part of me they represent?”
Continue asking your greater self questions until you experience looking at into your eyes, imagining them looking back at you, and feeling either at peace, love, forgiveness, or neutral.
Once this feeling is present, thank them for the gift of serving you this way – providing you can do so authentically – or simply say thank you.
Look away from the mirror.
Blow out the candle with a feeling of gratitude for you connection to your greater self.
Exercise is complete.

If you need to do this exercise for more that one relationship, then I recommend when you are complete each one fully as mentioned above. Get up and have a drink of water and then return to the spot and start again with the lighting of the candle. This is to ensure the connection to the prior person has been completed so that the next will have your complete energy and attention.
If none of these exercises work for some of the experiences, that is fine. It may not be the right time for you to be complete with the experience. Accept that you have done the best you can for now and trust that when the time is right, resolution will happen in the best way possible.

Part two

Once you have reviewed the year, acknowledge in writing all that you are grateful for, and all you are ready to release and/or forgive. Be sure to include your accomplishments, goals achieved, growth stretches, and obstacles overcome.

Release and Forgive

In respect to all the events and people involved, complete the following sentences:

I bless and release my experience of these events........ (list the various events)

I bless and forgive and release .......(name of person) Thank you for your active participation in my life.

Also take this time to release any outdated beliefs or attitudes that no longer serve you.I bless and release my past need to……. (name belief or attitude you are releasing) I am grateful that it has served me in the past and brought me to this point in my life.

Celebrate with Gratitude

I believe we are all aware of the power of gratitude! Focus on your heart center, allowing it to fill with love and appreciation as you complete the following sentences:

I am grateful for........ (brief summary of event)I am grateful for……. (name of person and briefly why).
I am grateful to have had ……. (name the impact of your contribution)…. impact on….. (person, people or system you impacted).

Once complete, if you are able to safely do so, burn these papers with the intention that doing so symbolizes the rejuvenating transformation that fire brings, promoting new growth! If you are unable to do so safely, you can shred them by hand feeling the release and gratitude as you do so.

YEAH!!!! You have just created a vibrant, clear space within yourself having released the energy of 2008, creating space which can now be filled with your dreams and aspirations for 2009! The energy of gratitude that you allow to trail behind you, will naturally draw more for you to be grateful for in 2009.

Take some time early in the New Year to articulate what you want in your life, for your life and how you want to show up in 2009. What do you want to accomplish, contribute and how do you want to grow? Celebrate bringing in the year by create a fun collage that reflects your aspirations for 2009.

From my heart to yours - thank you for having contributed to my life in 2008 and I wish you all the best as you consciously create 2009. Happy Holidays!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Trying to Figure It All Out?

Do you too hard to “figure” it all out??

Now that you are aware of the power within you, to consciously create your life, do you find yourself sometimes dissecting the events of your day, trying to figure out what “YOU” did to get what you got? The other day my partner came home looking exhausted. He shared his day with me, which was packed full of challenging situations. After reliving them with me, one after the other, he asks, in a breath of defeat: “how did I attract this today”? On top of having a crappy day, he was getting down on himself for having attracted the crap – like that helps at all! (Read last line with sarcastic tone!)

One of the pitfalls of becoming aware of the law of attraction and the other universal principles, is that while they helps us to acknowledge “how it all works”, we can often get caught up in trying to figure it all out. As we are trying to figure “it” out , we remain in the energy of “it” and if “it” is a crappy day, then we risk attracting more crap. It doesn’t matter how you attracted the challenges of the day – what matters is that you are aware of it and that you acknowledge that you have the power to re-create your day right NOW! You don’t always need to know how you got “here”, you do need to acknowledge that from “here” you have the power within to redirect yourself to where you want to be, regardless of what is behind you.

The bottom line is that trying to figure it out, is the long route to conscious creation. Sometimes it’s necessary, yet often it’s not. Here is the short cut. Decide NOW, right NOW what you want, then knowing where you are NOW identifying the next step forward and do it! Getting sucked into constantly trying to figure out the past, no matter how recent will just bring you more of it (not always, but often) to you. You know how it works; focus your attention on what you want in any moment, then listen to your inner guidance for direction. It may come from within you or from around you – trust that when you ask and intend your next step will come.

Create a vibrant day!

Friday, September 05, 2008

Reality Alchemy #2 - Understanding Cause and Effect

What Came First, The Chicken or the Egg???

You know what it’s like to get caught up in an emotional downward spiral. One moment you’re feeling absolutely fabulous and suddenly you’re aware that you’ve somehow spun into a negative funk. You realize you’ve become angry, irritated or self deprecating; thinking thoughts that are perpetuating the mood. How did you get there so fast?

Some experts would suggest that a thought, triggered by an external event resulted in an emotion and it spiraled from there. While others would suggest an emotion, triggered by an external event, then triggered thoughts aligned with the emotion. It’s a matter of cause and effect, but what’s the first cause? Kind of like trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg (figured that one out yet?)

Consider that:

Before a thought is a cause, it’s been an effect… every thought causes an effect.
Before an emotions is a cause, it’s been an effect… every emotion causes an effect.

Both emotions and thought are the cause and the effect and until we determine “original cause” in the world of chaos (good luck! :) ) we need to realize this.

As we respond to events, moment by moment, trying to figure out whether a feeling came before a thought or visa versa… well that takes a sort of mental discipline that most of us don’t yet possess. A more effective approach to start with is; the moment you start noticing how a thought is causing an emotion and how the emotion is causing the next though – you can intercede. Shift the current flow of cause and effect of your current stream of thoughts and emotions by choosing either a thought or an emotion that will start altering your current course.

For example – I’m upset at my boyfriend for not noticing, the moment he came home from work, that I’ve cleaned the floor and washed the car. I feel hurt that he hasn’t noticed and start thinking that he doesn’t care. Then I feel sad and start wondering “what does he expects of me?… is this not enough earn his appreciation?” Now I’m feeling angry, I worked so hard all day and got a bunch of chores done…I think you get the point.
The moment I become aware of how my thoughts and emotions are sending me down the stream into an emotional and mental frenzy, I stop… I take a deep breathe and choose a new thought. I choose to remember all the times he has expressed gratitude for something
I’ve done; like the last time I did our laundry. Immediately the emotion shifts to a feeling of calm. Then I become curious as to how his day was so I ask. He shares the many challenges of his day. Now I’m feeling compassion for him. I start wondering about what I can do to help him release the stress of the day. Next thing you know, he looks around, takes a whiff and says “mmmm…. it smells so clean in here, did you wash the floor?” “Thanks honey….”

To summarize, here are the steps to getting back into a more desirable stream of cause and effect:

1. Awareness – notice how your thoughts and feelings are flowing in the moment
2. Accept that you are the one participating in this current flow and you are the one who can change it. Take a deep breath in.
3. Alter your course by choosing a thought or feeling that you know will cause a more desirable emotion or thought.
4. Awareness – notice how your thoughts and feelings are flowing now

So what came first, the chicken or the egg? It you figure that one out, please let me know!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Reality Alchemy #1 – Attitude Lifters

Our attitudes have a direct effect on how we experience our reality. Whether you see the cup as half empty or half full doesn’t really matter. What does matter is what you make that mean; does “half empty” mean there’s plenty of room for more, or that you’re almost out of water. Does “half full” remind you that your cup isn’t full, or that you still have lots of water left? It’s the meaning we give the facts of our lives that creates our reality and it’s our attitude that triggers the meaning we end up assigning these facts. If you want to alchemize your reality, change the meaning you’re giving it by altering your attitude!

Next time you want to alchemize your reality, use one of these attitude lifters!

Attitude Lifters

1. This too shall pass. Whatever is going on now, will soon be in the past. At some point in time it will be done with and resolved in some way, shape or form.

2. Shift your focus. There is much more going on in this moment that you could be focusing on. Look around you; what can you focus on that will result in a better feeling? The sky, a flower, animals playing, a picture or thought of a loved one or an inspiring quote.

3. If you are in an argument and the other person is showing you a part of them that you don’t like, remember that is only one part of them. They have many other parts to them that you probably not only love, but admire. If you’re dealing with a stranger, then envision them in a tender moment, as a child or receiving a gift. We are all multi-facetted and have many moments – good and bad. The more you focus on the good in a person, the more you’ll experience that part of them.

4. It’s not about you. How a person is responding to you usually has to do with them and how they are interpreting the situation. It is rarely personal. Remember that and it will help you disassociation from “their stuff”.

5. It’s all about you. How you are responding is usually about you and how you are interpreting the situation. Open yourself up to seeing other perspectives and possibilities. Ask clarifying questions, you may be “off the mark” with your current perspective! Be responsible for the perspective you choose.

6. Stick to the “facts” and drop the story. Adding meaning to events and situations that make you feel bad is a choice, one you don’t have to make! Stick to the facts! If you insist on fabricating a story out of it, make it an inspiring one!

7. A great reality checker in any situation is to ask your self, “Will this matter 10 or 15 years from now?” When the answer is no, notice how the emotions calm a bit. If the answer happens to be yes, than ask your self “What can I do about it now?”

8. SMILE! Every chance you get, SMILE. Make sure to smile in a mirror at least 5 times a day to experience the impact of your smile. Smiles are built-in manual “attitude lifters” that don’t cost a thing – and on the receiving end are priceless!

Our attitude also affects our health and impact the quality of our lives! Follow this link and read this article on the correlation between “attitude” and “longevity”.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Weight Loss

The Law of Attraction Way V.S. Consciously Creating a Healthy Body

I recently interviewed two Law of Attraction authors for the CTI Law of Attraction Community. It was a different sort of interview for me, because it was scripted. As the interviewer this meant I was asking questions I would not necessarily have asked and I felt that asking questions outside the script would be a “faux pas”. Awesome learning experience and for the most part is was a great interview, both authors being very personable and fun interviewees.

There were some topics that I definitely could have gotten into a debate with them about, which is why I wished the interview hadn’t been scripted. One such topic was their response on how to use Law of Attraction principles to lose weight. I thought this was a great question, however I sooo didn’t agree with their answer!

The authors stressed how important it is to change your thinking to lose weight, which I agree with 100%; however… they suggest that is all you need to do! That diets and exercise are not required to lose weight; you simply have to change your thoughts.
Personally, I think such a statement is equivalent to performing malpractice. They run a high risk of influencing people into the delusion of thinking they can simply think their way thin. And if anyone has done this, having maintained the same eating patterns, diet, not changed their exercise routine or taken medication to stimulate weight loss – I want to hear from you!

You will be much more successful in losing weight by changing your thoughts about both yourself and food - absolutely - and by also changing eating patterns and adding exercise to your routine.

You need it all!

And it doesn’t necessarily matter where you start. A change in your though patterns will often lead to a change in a physical habit – just like a change in a physical habit can lead to a change in your thought patterns.

Every so often I’ve gotten to a point where I need to lose 5 or 10lbs. What I’ve done for years when this happens is I start by “seeing” myself as looking and feeling fit, being more comfortable in my clothes and feeling healthy. Each time, within a relatively short period, my physical appearance reflects my vision. However those thoughts and images led to different CHOICES, ACTIONS AND ACTIVITIES than the ones added the 5 or 10lbs on to me in the first place.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Albert Einstein

As I make a conscious choice to not buy any more potato chips for awhile, I buy more healthy snacks instead. Suddenly, without much effort, my cravings for the “less than good for me” food subsides and I’m craving more veggies and the food combinations that I know are better for my metabolism. As my eating patterns change, I feel more energized and naturally inclined to increase my running back up to 5 to 7 days a week when I’d may have been down to 2 or 3 days a week. Conscious choice and action needs to follow intention (intentions are thoughts) – and often inspired intention leads to our naturally making more beneficial choices without having to put too much “hard effort” into it. And yes, other times it takes a lot of self discipline and commitment to change and to continue making the healthier lifestyle choices.

A change in thoughts can create miraculous changes in our lives (I believe miracles can be everyday occurrences). It can help make certain choices more natural and easy. Please do not delude yourself into thinking that one changed thought without being proceeded by any aligned action, will result in your desired outcome 100% of the time. When it does, it means you already held all the other necessary beliefs and attitudes for it to happen. But it doesn’t always work that way and this is where people can get themselves in trouble. Most people have so many conflicting beliefs and attitudes running rampant in their unconscious minds, that without intimate and honest self reflection, they don’t know which are in conflict with their desired outcomes, let alone the ones they “personally” need to adopt in order to lose weight at the “flip of a thought”.

When it comes to consciously creating a healthy body, actions need to speak just as loud as words!

More on the topic of beliefs, attitudes and magically manifesting miracles in my next post!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Listen to the Language of Your Emotions

For years this phrase has decorated my computer and only today did the meaning of it finally dawn on me as I reflected on a response I’d made to an e-mail.

Language of Your Emotions

Emotions don’t speak – we do. We feel the energy moving inside us (emotion = energy in motion) and interpret the feeling with words. For example I may feel emotion in my throat and refer to it as a frog in my throat, lump, tightness, constriction, scratchiness….etc. The words we end up choosing in each instance to describe an emotional feeling is no mistake. They are most often a metaphor or a literal reflection of what the emotion itself is trying to reveal. This is the “language of our emotions” that we need to listen to.

In the e-mail today, the person referred to feeling tightness in their throat. My suggestion was to listen to the word he used to describe the sensation. What happens with tight? How does anything flow through something that is tight? What does tight need – perhaps lubrication (softer thoughts) or a loosening (easing up of negative thoughts)? The emotions we feel are often connected to the thoughts we are thinking about the situation – not necessarily the situation itself.

For example, the other day I was feeling frustration as my friend was with another task instead of being ready on time to leave for the Spa. I thought we had agreed to leave at a certain time to avoid having to wait to get in. Thirty five minutes past that time I was feeling antsy! I noticed the emotion of frustration rise as I felt the sensation of a pressure in my chest. Chalking it up to being an inner signal that we’d have to wait if we didn’t hurry up, I’d made it (the emotion) about the situation.

When we do leave, we end up taking the wrong route, so now we were an hour late (pressure contributing to taking the incorrect route). By now my thinking had became so warped that I found myself almost hoping we’d have to wait to get in so that my inner signal would be proven correct. Oh my!!! As I caught that thought, I realized that if we did have to wait, I’d be the one responsible for creating that experience for us. I was the only one adding pressure (my feeling of pressure) to the situation; my friends were both focused on enjoying their conversation throughout the drive. I was cutting myself off from the harmonious energy connection flowing between my friends by thinking “pressure thoughts”, hence the feeling being in my chest and heart area.

Finally, as I realize what I’m doing, I take a deep breath….and I remember how grateful I am to be spending this time with my friends. Even if we did have to wait, we’d be together, enjoying each others company, which was the whole purpose of the outing. Like magic, suddenly, the pressure was released. As my mood shifted, I realized we were on the wrong route, which one we were suppose to be on (now there’s an appropriate metaphor :) ) and helped direct us to it.

At last, we joyfully arrived at Le Nordic Spa. Did we have to wait to get in? Of course not, now that we were all focused on enjoying each others company, that focus expanded into a “pressure less” experience.

The situation wasn’t the cause of the emotion and pressure; it was the thoughts. As I continued holding onto thoughts of pressure, I was adding pressure to the situation. Once I changed my thoughts the pressure released and the situation began to reflect our new collective energy of enjoyment and cheer.

Our thoughts do change our outcomes!

Next time you’re feeling an emotion, as you give it language, notice the words you’re using. Acknowledge either the literal or metaphoric meaning and notice how your thoughts are affecting the situation. Sometimes, it will be about the situation, however more than not, it will be about the thoughts of it and the language you use about how you’re feel will point you into the right direction, helping you to recognize what you can do to turn it around!

Listen, to the language of your emotions!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

EGO - Lose It or Strengthen It?

For the first time today, I saw the term “ego strengthening”, as I was reading an article and something popped inside my mind. There are many schools of thought that encourage people to lose or diminish the ego mind. This idea has never really felt right to me (or maybe my ego’s been fighting me on it). Eckhart Tolle on Oprah’s web cast of “A New Earth” said that he “lost his ego” suggesting that this is a desirable thing to do? I’m not so sure about that. Maybe it is for him, who am I to judge? But I imagine there are people out there now having read or heard that thinking “oh – so I should be trying to lose my ego!”

What’s good for the goose isn’t necessarily good for the gander!

I’ve been playing curiously with this idea a client mentioned to me recently; “What if the opposite is true?” In the moment I’m engaged in a perspective, perhaps holding it as true, what happens when I play with “what if the opposite of this perspective is true?”
So if I hear that I need to ‘take out’ my ego in order to live a more successful and fulfilling life, what if the opposite is true? What if “strengthening my ego” is the key to my living a more successful and fulfilling life? There’s an interesting twist.

I just looked up “ego” on to find this definition: “the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.”; philosophically; “a) the enduring and conscious element that knows experience. b) Scholasticism. the complete person comprising both body and soul.”

“Why would I want to get rid of that??”

When I accept this definition of “ego”, it makes more sense to me to work on strengthening it. If I have a strong sense of my complete self, both body and soul connected as one, I’m better positioned to create a successful and fulfilling life – by my own definition.

When the ego is weak, then an individual is more or less unconsciously creating their life experiences. We are then more easily influenced by outside sources that aren’t necessarily aligned with our own core values. If your unconscious influence is not aligned with your values, then your desires will be reflective of this (unconscious influence) and that’s when the success of achieving our goals don’t end up equating personal fulfillment.

Here is the 4 step approach that I now realize I have been unconsciously using with my clients for some time:
1. Identify and connect with your core values.
2. Ensure your “wants” are supported with a core value - the “why”.
3. Explore your ego and all of its parts. Get curious about yourself.
4. Strengthen your ego by transforming or letting go of the weaker parts of it, which includes the outer influences that are not aligned with your values and goals, and direct more focus on the parts that are aligned.

The aim is to become consciously aware who the “I” in the self is, which includes the various parts of our ego, and discover how this “I” has been directing our lives as it is. Then we can strengthen the connection between all these aspects of ourselves so they work together more cohesively. With a stronger and aligned sense of self (ego), I can better position my self with the collective of the whole which I am also apart of, and be a more supportive influencer of it.

What would it be like to have large groups of people with strong egos, all working together in a conscious manner for the good of the whole they are one with? What is possible then?

This is what is happening in the world today. As a result of having been under the influence of certain individuals stronger egos over the past decades (politicians, religious figure heads, guru’s), more and more people are now strengthening their own egos by getting in touch with who they really are and what is truly important to them.

Of course, if this can be true, then the opposite can as well. As Tolle feels he’s done, by losing the ego (that has been negatively influenced) one realizes their connection to the whole, recognizing the power that truly is within, empowering themselves to create successful and fulfilling lives.

So it is all good!

© 2008 All Rights Reserved Kim Barnwell

Thursday, April 24, 2008

De-Clutter Your Life

Hey - I'm really excited about a new workshop I'm co-leading with this fantastic Professional Organizer, Angela Irvine We will be connecting the dots between the "cluttered space" and "cluttered mind and emotions". I haven't gotten it on my website yet, so I'm posting it here for now. And as soon as I figure out how to upload an MP3 file, I'll be able to include a piece of our planning that we recorded - so check back again in a week or so!

Conscious Creation Event

Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling imbalanced emotionally, the space around you is usually imbalanced as well? Hard to turn things around with so much chaos around you.
Connect the dots between your emotional and mental clutter and the physical clutter in your environment. Clearing one will instigate re-balance in the other. It doesn't matter where you start - just start! Start Saturday April 26 2008 by joining myself and Professional Organizer Angela Irvine as we join forces to help you De-Clutter Your Life!
De-Clutter You Life
Creating Space for Inspired Living
Conscious Creation and Love Your Space
DATE: April 26th, 2008
TIME: 1:30pm to 5:30pm
LOCATION: MacLaren Center
340 MacLaren St. 2nd Floor
Cost:ONLY $47.00
Register: Call Kim at 613-591-1173 or email
at to reserve your spot now!

Wednesday, April 02, 2008


Celebration Time Come On!!!

I just opened a very important letter – it is a letter from CTI congratulating me on passing both my oral and written coaching certification exams. YEAH!!!!! I have earned the privilege of adding the initials, CPCC (Certified Professional Co-Active Coach) next to my name.
I have never been so nervous about opening an envelope! Knowing how I consciously create my outcomes, I was very aware that as I feared not passing an exam that I could attract it, that if I knew I’d pass I would and at the same time, if I thought I didn’t and therefore tried to “THINK” I did – I’d drive myself crazy!!!!
That’s the thing about being aware of creating your reality, when it comes to real life situations, what really matters, practicing what your preach becomes the real test.

As I waited 20 days to receive my results, this is what worked for me:

1. I faced my fears of failure. I acknowledge the reasons why I thought I might not pass. I didn’t make myself wrong for thinking this way, I simply acknowledged the logic supporting the fear.
I gave myself credit where credit was due.

2. I was just as liberal in acknowledging what I had done correctly, as what I thought I hadn’t done incorrectly. The worse thing we do to ourselves is go into “exaggerating thinking” at one end, and we let those thoughts run rampage with our emotions. By allowing each possibility their equal voice, and being logical (factual) about it (best question here to ask yourself is “Is what I’m thinking really true?” then “What else is possible?”) you detach from either possibility.

3. I connected to what I truly knew – that I love coaching and I love inspiring people to be who they really want to be! That if for some reason I needed to redo an exam to gain that credential, I was committed to doing whatever it took and grateful for learning what I’d learn along the way. I released my attachment to having that credential now, knowing it was already mine and that timing would be just that – the illusion of timing.

It’s during times like these (when I’m personally attached to the outcome) that practicing what I know is most challenging; when my faith in me can be challenged. Isn’t that why it’s called faith? Otherwise, how would we ever develop the confidence to really listened and hear, and the faith to follow the next inspiration we are guided to persue?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Magical Manifestations

Thank you Universe!
That is what kept saying today as the universe handed me my desires on a silver platter. Thank you Universe and I gratefully accept!

Over the holidays I received some cash as a Christmas present (thank you) so one day back in January, I set out to buy me gifts.

I like to buy myself the frivolous stuff with gift money – stuff I don’t “need” just “want”. So off I went today to CD Warehouse to buy a season of Charmed on DVD (one of my favorite witchy shows which stopped being aired in my area while in its third season) and a hard to find “Aerial” CD from Kate Bush.

No bargains at CD Warehouse! The Charmed DVDs were going for between $57 and $54.00. I intuitively felt I could get a better deal at Wal-Mart. Then I went over to look at the CD’s for the latest Kate Bush release. I couldn’t find it where the other Kate Bush CD’s were stocked and just as I was about to walk away, the golden-yellow cover caught my eye – the one last copy was on display. Priced at $25.99 …umm maybe Wal-Mart has it too.

No Kate Bush at Wal-Mart; however the Charmed DVDs were priced at $39 and $34. – big difference so I brought two to the check-out.

Oh, I’m to digress for a moment….on my way to Wal-Mart I stopped in at Blockbusters to rent a movie for the weekend. There Charmed was going for $41.00 – I held out. It wasn’t until I was driving home that I remembered thinking as I got into my car leaving the video store; “It would be nice to spend the same amount on the Charmed DVDs as it would cost to rent them - about $20 per season.”

Back to the check-out…..
There were 3 cashiers open and a line of 4-5 people at each. The moment I notice a twitch of arrgggg (not a fan of lines) I flipped my light on and felt the ease of patience fall upon me. The line zoomed through after that.

Now, I’m at the check-out with my Charmed DVDs and some cosmetic removal pads. When the cashier told me the total…well , I felt just like the lady in the Wal-Mart commercial where she runs to the car after paying her bill feeling like she’d just robbed the store. The cashier said “that will be $42.63 please”. What???? I use to be banker – so I’m pretty quick with numbers and there was no way all I bought added up the $42.63! Something within me said – just double check the bill. Sure enough, each of the DVD’s scanned in at $17.98 – a hidden sale!! YEAH!!

Thank YOU Universe.

I then returned to CD warehouse to buy the “hard to find” last copy of the Kate Bush CD.
Thank you Universe – you sure know how to deliver!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Messages of Water Video

Read the next post on "Amplifying Love" first, then go to this link and watch this video on Dr. Emoto's work.

Amplifying Love and the Rediscovery of Fire

Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of Love, and then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Recently as I was writing a speech about Love, I felt inspired by this quote and set out to gain an understanding of what Mr. de Chardin may have meant when he wrote these words. First I needed to know which definition of “love” he was referring to when he wrote “energies of Love” as there are many contexts in which this common 4 letter words is used.

What is Love?

I searched the online dictionary for the “general” meaning of the word. The first definition included 28 various meanings for the word love, none were general. That wasn’t much help. So then I checked out the online encyclopedia which only served to validate my confusion as I read “The definition of love is the subject of considerable debate, enduring speculation and thoughtful introspection.”

I read the quote again and this time something clicked. In his quote, Mr. de Chardin refers to love as being an “energy”! Now that makes perfect sense. Many conversations with my client supported the concept of love being an energy.

There is an exercise I complete with all my new clients; Core Value Elicitation. By gaining clarity as to what is truly motivating our choices and actions from the core of our being, we glean great insight as to what we need to truly live a fulfilling life. On average, 8 out of 10 clients include “love” as a value. Not surprising – however what is surprising is that I’ve yet to have 2 clients provide me the same personal definition of the word love. Actually, each client who has listed love as one of their values has defined it through the expression of other values. Included in the long list of values used to define love are: compassion, kindness, acceptance, patience, joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, confidence, trust, truth, affection, appreciation…. the list goes on.

As I continued to experience this with clients, I’d come to the conclusion that if all these values individually equate “love” to someone, then the way we experience love is through the expression of such values.

Connecting the Dots

What I’m interpreting Mr. de Chardin’s words “we shall harness for God the energies of Love, and then, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.” to mean is that he foresaw, that at some point in history, enough people in the world would recognize the impact on themselves and the world every time they aligned with the truth at the core of their being (what I refer to as core values). Then as a society we would understand that by choosing love (patience, kindness, generosity, acceptance, forgiveness…) we amplify the energy of love in us and around us. As a result, this understanding would lead to a shift of consciousness that would have a monumental impact on humanity, the significance of which we’ve only experienced once before.

What is possible for our world when a large percentage of the population is amplifying Love by choosing to live according to their personal core values? Here are a few references to explore and consider:
Dr. Emoto’s book “Messages of Water” illustrates the difference between the crystalline structure of water that has been amplified by love and that which has been amplified by fear. The water that is amplified by Love is more appealing to the eye. It is clear, symmetrical and pretty. It is also healthier to consume.
The latest statistics state that our bodies are 60 % water; therefore as we amplify love, that has a brilliant effect on 60% of our physical body.
Candice Pert’s scientific work on proving the impact our emotions have on us at the cellular level also leads to an understanding of how we are positively affected by the amplification of Love.
As M. Gandhi suggests “be the change you want to see in the world and the world you are in will change.”

What might the potential be for the human experience when the energy of love is constantly being amplified through us and throughout our environment?

The story of Jesus is a perfect example of what is possible for humans when we commit to making choices that amplify love. He was able to resurrect his physical body after it had been dead for 3 days! His presence performed miraculous healings and he easily manifested wine and food. History is filled with stories of divine beings who radiated a loving presence performing such miracles.
For those who have read the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield, the Ninth Insight was all about how the amplification of love through the appreciation of beauty, letting go or having positive thoughts resulted in the physical body becoming invisible to those whose choices amplified fear. At the end of the movie version, they also included that those who had crossed over could be seen again by these people who were amplifying love. Now, I realize the last example is based on a fiction novel and that for some people the “history” of Jesus is also a story…. but what if these stories were more. What if these stories are a glimpse into what is possible when we humans “harness the energies of Love,” and perhaps this is part of what we will experience when “for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”

As more and more of us, make the conscious choice to live our lives according to our values, collectively we amplify the energy of love on this planet. I believe that the time in history Pierre Teilhard de Chardin referred to in his quote this is happening NOW!
We, my fellow man, are on the threshold of rediscovering fire!

Copyright © 2008 by Kim Barnwell – All rights reserved

Saturday, January 05, 2008

German New Medicine

I am very excited about sharing this eye-opening article, written by a colleague of mine on German New Medicine. German New Medicine helps us to uncover the unconscious cause or trigger of disease and illness.

Often this topic of the “Law of Attraction” triggers mixed feelings from people who have experienced a major illness or accident in their life. They often argue that there is no way they could have created it (their illness or the disability they acquired from an accident) for themselves – and I would absolutely agree with them. It pains me when I hear people trying to figure out what they “did” to make “it” happen. We do not intentionally “do” anything to manifest disease in our bodies or to experience an accident that has a major affect on us. Life happens, and as a result, more life happens. At best, we can learn and grow from all of our life experience – and it is in the learning and growing that we become more capable of consciously creating more of what we do want in life.

In her article, Barbara Pierce offers the perspective that disease is a result of trauma associated with unforeseen events that we experience in life. The development of German New Medicine offers a means of understanding the roots of disease and illness so that we can become aware of what we need to address on the mental or emotional levels to heal thoroughly.

Follow this link to read Barb’s enlightening articl
e: Introduction to German New Medicine