Re-Write Your History
and Create the Future You Want!
Have you become a victim to your past? Decided you’re
unlovable, unworthy or less than because of the meaning you’ve assigned to the
experiences you’ve had? Life happens,
events occur – we see things, exchange words, experience feelings and then we use
our interpretation of what we’ve experienced to assign meaning to it all. Have
you ever noticed that a number of people can participate in the same event yet
each person will have their own unique experience of it? My honey and I can watch the same movie,
seeing the same scenes and hearing the same words yet we don’t always re-act the same to it. He’ll laugh when I cry and usually one of us ends up
enjoying the movie more than the other.
This is exactly what we do in our lives – we assign meaning to
the events we experience, based on how we’ve interpreted it at the time. The
meaning then becomes our memory of the event, having a natural influence on the
flow of our lives. Our past, which remains part of us, continues to influence
how we participate in creating our lives moving forward. Every time a memory is
triggered in a present moment, the emotional tone (energy) of the meaning we’ve
previously assigned to it naturally influences how we are creating in that
moment - it becomes part of the mix.
“The only meaning that
anything has is the meaning we give it.”
A Course in Miracles
If the meaning you’ve given your past is not supporting you
in creating the life you want now – change it! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Not
always. Not when the meaning we’ve given the story is keeping us safe or powering
us up by making us feel important, right or justified. This sort of empowerment
is usually gained through a limiting power source – a source that takes from
another in a depreciating way.
Power gets its juice from feeding off of another source of energy.
Limiting power like thoughts have a,
“I’m better, smarter, more beautiful, more creative, more…. than they are” ring
to them, lifting oneself up while putting someone else down. Or like “I’m not
as good/smart/pretty/tall/thin/creative… as them”; putting oneself down while
inflating another – possible putting them on a pedestal for the sake of keeping oneself safe (and
small).
True or real sourced power feeds off of the never ending
abundant supply of potential and possibility that is freely available to all –
and harms none! True power thoughts sound like “I can do this”, “I am enough”,
“I am learning and growing” or “what is possible now?” Notice how the focus is on the self – self
acknowledging, self accepting and self motivating. When we don’t include the ‘other’ in our own meaning, we neither puff them up nor knock them down, the
meaning you give is about YOU. Other people will assign their own meaning to a
shared event and it will be about them. As tempting as it is to take another person’s
meaning personally – it serves us to remember that it isn’t.
If reality is an
illusion, what illusion do you want to create as your reality?
We can’t go back and change the ‘facts’ of the past; we need
to accept the facts as they are. What we can do is go back and change the
meaning or story that we’ve made up about our past. Doing so, changes the
impact and influence the past is having on our lives in the present and going
forward.
Let’s take the example of being laid off from a job due to
restructuring; many of us have had this sort of experience at least once. The feeling of being laid off doesn’t usually
feel great – even when it’s what we’ve secretly (or not so secretly) been
wishing for, actually being asked to leave the building or to being escorted
off the premises can sting. Far too often after this sort of experience I’ve
heard people make up stories like “I wasn’t appreciated, someone was out to get
me, I must have something wrong – all these sort of ‘meanings’ can leave one
feeling rejected –again, not a pleasant feeling. They can also leave a person
feeling disempowered, which is NOT a resourceful state to be in when looking of
new employment or planning your next
steps.
What we need to do in such a case is separated the facts
from the fiction. This actually happened to me in 2003 – I was laid off from my
banking job without cause. And even though I was able to COMPLETELY recognize
how I had consciously participated in creating the experience, on the day it un-expectantly
happened, it stung! I told myself a whole much of *BS* that I needed to later
retract. The FACTS were that I was no longer employed. I had been told I was
laid off without cause, meaning I had
not done anything wrong – it served me best to believe that. It was not where I wanted to stay career wise
and I had already been working towards a new career. Those were the facts. The story that served me without belittling
anyone else (or myself) is that I needed to be let go, so that I could focus on
the career I really wanted for myself. That if this was happening now, it must
be time! One door had closed forcing me to walk through the other door that had
already been opened. When I attach that story to the experience of being laid
off, it feels empowering and promising – a bit scary for sure, however in an
exciting way.
Changing the meaning of a past event may not necessarily
erase the one you had previously assigned to it. When I recall hearing the words and being
escorted out of the branch, a slight sting still remains. I now use that
feeling as a trigger that reminds me of my power to “choose” the story I
remember… guess which one I chose?
We humans do tend to be creatures of habit; choosing a more
empowering meaning or reinforcing a new story can take time. Be kind to
yourself as you work on retraining your mind to more regularly tap into
potential and possibility while harming none, the source of true power, when
assigning meaning to life’s events.
Re-write the meaning of your past and become the hero/heroine
of your own life’s journey.
