Re-Write Your History!

Re-Write Your History and Create the Future You Want!

Have you become a victim to your past? Decided you’re unlovable, unworthy or less than because of the meaning you’ve assigned to the experiences you’ve had?  Life happens, events occur – we see things, exchange words, experience feelings and then we use our interpretation of what we’ve experienced to assign meaning to it all. Have you ever noticed that a number of people can participate in the same event yet each person will have their own unique experience of it?  My honey and I can watch the same movie, seeing the same scenes and hearing the same words yet we don’t always re-act the same to it. He’ll laugh when I cry and usually one of us ends up enjoying the movie more than the other.  

This is exactly what we do in our lives – we assign meaning to the events we experience, based on how we’ve interpreted it at the time. The meaning then becomes our memory of the event, having a natural influence on the flow of our lives. Our past, which remains part of us, continues to influence how we participate in creating our lives moving forward. Every time a memory is triggered in a present moment, the emotional tone (energy) of the meaning we’ve previously assigned to it naturally influences how we are creating in that moment - it becomes part of the mix.

“The only meaning that anything has is the meaning we give it.”  A Course in Miracles

If the meaning you’ve given your past is not supporting you in creating the life you want now – change it! Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Not always.  Not when the meaning  we’ve given the story is keeping us safe or powering us up by making us feel important, right or justified. This sort of empowerment is usually gained through a limiting power source – a source that takes from another in a depreciating way.

Power gets its juice from feeding off of another source of energy.  Limiting power like thoughts have a, “I’m better, smarter, more beautiful, more creative, more…. than they are” ring to them, lifting oneself up while putting someone else down. Or like “I’m not as good/smart/pretty/tall/thin/creative… as them”; putting oneself down while inflating another – possible putting them on a pedestal  for the sake of keeping oneself safe (and small).

True or real sourced power feeds off of the never ending abundant supply of potential and possibility that is freely available to all – and harms none! True power thoughts sound like “I can do this”, “I am enough”, “I am learning and growing” or “what is possible now?”  Notice how the focus is on the self – self acknowledging, self accepting and self motivating. When we don’t include the ‘other’ in our own meaning, we neither puff them up nor knock them down, the meaning you give is about YOU. Other people will assign their own meaning to a shared event and it will be about them.  As tempting as it is to take another person’s meaning personally – it serves us to remember that it isn’t.    

If reality is an illusion, what illusion do you want to create as your reality?

We can’t go back and change the ‘facts’ of the past; we need to accept the facts as they are. What we can do is go back and change the meaning or story that we’ve made up about our past. Doing so, changes the impact and influence the past is having on our lives in the present and going forward.

Let’s take the example of being laid off from a job due to restructuring; many of us have had this sort of experience at least once.  The feeling of being laid off doesn’t usually feel great – even when it’s what we’ve secretly (or not so secretly) been wishing for, actually being asked to leave the building or to being escorted off the premises can sting. Far too often after this sort of experience I’ve heard people make up stories like “I wasn’t appreciated, someone was out to get me, I must have something wrong – all these sort of ‘meanings’ can leave one feeling rejected –again, not a pleasant feeling. They can also leave a person feeling disempowered, which is NOT a resourceful state to be in when looking of  new employment or planning your next steps.

What we need to do in such a case is separated the facts from the fiction. This actually happened to me in 2003 – I was laid off from my banking job without cause. And even though I was able to COMPLETELY recognize how I had consciously participated in creating the experience, on the day it un-expectantly happened, it stung! I told myself a whole much of *BS* that I needed to later retract. The FACTS were that I was no longer employed. I had been told I was laid off without cause, meaning  I had not done anything wrong – it served me best to believe that.  It was not where I wanted to stay career wise and I had already been working towards a new career. Those were the facts.  The story that served me without belittling anyone else (or myself) is that I needed to be let go, so that I could focus on the career I really wanted for myself. That if this was happening now, it must be time! One door had closed forcing me to walk through the other door that had already been opened. When I attach that story to the experience of being laid off, it feels empowering and promising – a bit scary for sure, however in an exciting way.

Changing the meaning of a past event may not necessarily erase the one you had previously assigned to it.  When I recall hearing the words and being escorted out of the branch, a slight sting still remains. I now use that feeling as a trigger that reminds me of my power to “choose” the story I remember… guess which one I chose?

We humans do tend to be creatures of habit; choosing a more empowering meaning or reinforcing a new story can take time. Be kind to yourself as you work on retraining your mind to more regularly tap into potential and possibility while harming none, the source of true power, when assigning meaning to life’s events.

Re-write the meaning of your past and become the hero/heroine of your own life’s journey.

Awakening the Energy of Your Core - Video

Back in February  Your Stage  put ME in the spotlight to share and experience Awakening to the Energy of Your Core!

Persitent Messages!!

Here is a blog I enjoy visiting on Tuesday’s, for the author’s Tarot Tuesday’s. Every Tuesday Sheri picks a card and then offers her interpretation of it. She then encourages you to reflect on the card and discern it’s meaning for you. Today her card was from Doreen Virtue’s Archangel Oracle cards.

A great reminder card for me today - in case I wasn't getting of all the other hints the universe has been providing me lately. Claircognizance is my “clair” (or as I prefer to call it, my expanded sense) and I've been second guessing it a lot over the past year. As a result, the universe has been providing me with an abundance of opportunities to second guess my inner knowing just so I can experience the "I knew it" feeling ... great validation! When we simply follow your inner knowing, we often have to "trust" it was the right insight in the moment, because we have no way to prove what would have happened if we hadn't followed it.

As a conscious creator, I've been getting caught up in acknowledging the directive of my inner knowing and then wondering if I should be challenging myself to focus on creating what I “want” in spite of what I “know”.

Can I?

My experience has been, sometimes yes and sometimes not - again I need to remember to lean back into the inner knowing and trust the continued directive I receive as to whether or not it is in the best interest of all involved to consciously focus on influencing the outcome. To lean into the inner knowing is to effect change by harnessing the "Inner Power" and not from forced energy (as in the book Power VS Force by David Hawkins).
As the Serenity Prayer encourages, may we all have: "The strength to change what we can, accept what we can't change and may we all have the wisdom to know the difference".

Is There A Drainer In Your Life?

Are there people in your life that leave you feeling drained? You know the people I mean – regardless of how they start out, your conversations with them end up focused problems, what is wrong, complaints and negative rants. In spite of your attempts to steer the conversation to a lighter side, this just fuels their need to take a stand for their perspective with an almost admirable energy of conviction.

In most cases these people aren’t doing this to be mean or to bring you down. It is just the way they think.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we learn about people’s Meta Programs which in short, help us to understand our various thinking patterns. Some people will have a tendency to notice what is right, working well, the good and will expand their conversations to reinforce these views. While others who naturally have the tendency to notice what is wrong, needs fixing and the bad will expand on such in their conversations.

Neither pattern is the “better way” of thinking, they each serve their purpose. Seeing what is right can lead us to feeling resourceful and good inside and as a result, more open to options and opportunities. Noticing what is wrong or needs fixing can leave one feeling needed and inspired to help make something better.

However like anything, when either focus is taken to an extreme both can lead to undesirable effects. For example, someone who insists on only ever seeing the positive, regardless of the circumstance may experience delusions and be in denial about some life situations that they really need to pay attention to. While someone who always sees the negative or notices what is wrong may experience less optimal moods on a regular basis and may become lethargic or depressed. You can avoid these extreme by remaining aware of how your thinking is making you feel – inspired, needed, curious, wanting to take action or down, depressed, isolated or delusional.

As a conscious creator, we know that ever what we focus on we will experience more of. Ideally you want to be able to see “all” of a situation, the good and bad, what is working well and what requires adjusting. From there the key is to maintain your focus on your desired outcome; to identify what the next step towards your desired outcome is and take it. Then the next step and next… continuing to acknowledge “all” of where you are NOW, to best discern what that next step will be. It is ok to see the negative, what makes the difference is what you do with this view. Do you expand on it, or does it inspire you into making a difference and taking action?

In respect to the people in your life, who are constantly draining your energy with their pessimistic views and negative conversations, remember that this is simply a thought and response pattern, in the moment being experienced at an extreme. It isn’t personal. There will always be events that will trigger us to lean more towards either end of the spectrum, bringing about more positive or less positive attitudes. However if you know someone who is constantly leaning over to the negative and find it draining, perhaps to the point of feeling toxic, here are a few tips that will help you to limit your time in this energy:

· After listening for a few moments change the subject. Start by looking for something you can genuinely compliment them on. Ideally the sincere flattery will shift their energy and focus, and then you can redirect the conversation in that lighter energy.

· Make it a constructive conversation by asking them what they would do differently. Challenge them into thinking of the opportunity being presented instead of just complaining and ranting about it.

· Acknowledge that they seem to be on a rant, ask them how much time they need to do so, (5-10min max.) and then agree to shift to a more uplifting conversation at that time - which may include what to do about it. Sometime people just need permission to clear. Give it a deadline.

· Take yourself out of the conversation. In a social environment, excuse yourself, look for people who are smiling and join them with your smile. Make sure to refrain from sharing what you just experience with the other person – leave that experience behind you. When on the phone, simply state you need to go now – no excuse necessary. If you are in a situation that you can’t escape then keep reading…

· Call them on it. Many people who have this tendency really like to think of themselves as positive people (and they usually are) and don’t even realize what they are doing. Offer that you notice they keep focusing on the negative – and get curious with them about it. There may be something going on underneath that they really need to talk about - especially if this is not their usual pattern of conversation. You could be attracting this part of them, as an opportunity to help them.

· Express your boundaries. If a friend, colleague or family member constantly brings up a topic that you do not want to discuss, tell them so and request that they not discuss this topic with you. I once had a neighbor who spoke about people from other cultures as well as people who are gay in a derogatory manner. For awhile I over looked these comments from this 70ish years of age gentleman, whom I realized grew up in a very different time than I. By overlooking, I realized I was indirectly encouraging the comments that I truly found offensive. One day I kindly, yet clearly, let him know that I neither appreciated nor condoned such comments, and respectfully requested that refrain from expressing them to me. He stopped. The added bonus was that I felt he demonstrated a greater respect for me as a result of that conversation.

· Remind yourself that this is just ONE part of their personality that you are attracting from them in the moment and start focusing on the parts of them you enjoy. This is one of my favorites, and a habit I find effectively rewarding. Believing that someone is more than they are demonstrating in any given moment is a powerfully attractive attitude; one that magically inspires the person at the receiving end of focus to embody.

© All Right Reserved 2009 Kim Barnwell - http://www.conscious-creation.com/