Who's the most integral of all?
I don’t believe everything I hear just because someone wrote a book about it. I try it on, have my own experience and believe the results of my own experience, which often times will be a bit different than what the “guru” wrote.
A good example of this is the notion that everything around us is a mirror of us, or that all of our outer reality is a reflection of our inner world.
I believe this because I’ve experienced it.
What I don’t believe as some of the “gurus” suggest, is that it's always an identical mirror. I know that isn’t exactly true.
It has been my experience that my inner world is creating my outer experience, however much of it is in code. Why? Because I love and thrive on being able to unravel a mystery! So even the style of how I create my reality is a reflection of my inner passion of solving a mystery.
This makes my inner life very exciting as I decipher the symbolism in my personal world. Yet at times I would just like to see an apple being reflected as an apple if you know what I mean! I also value clarity, so there are times the outer experience is an exact reflection of my inner world. Sometimes it’s so confusing. I often have to ask myself, “Is this example a clear reflection that I’m having a hard time accepting, or is it a mystery symbolically linked to what is really going on inside?”. Ummm...... That was a question I had today as I was connecting the dots to a particular pattern in my life (remember – I’m the Pattern Buster!)
I have attracted many teachers who have knowingly been earning money using other people’s work without their permission, and often the work has a copy right protection (ha). I have even seen someone use someone else’s work and add their own label and/or signature to it.
I like being able to trust my mentors and trust that I am safe to following their example. Each time I’ve become aware of this, I’ve had to face acknowledging something that I didn’t want to acknowledge, that it is a mistake to trust anyone.
Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to work with many of the people I’ve witnessed doing this. Each time it has been a short union, or one that never really took off, and each time I wondered what it was about ‘me”, that attracted not being able to work with these people. I felt rejected. However I always had to admit to myself that each time I was aware that I didn’t feel completely in my integrity with all of their choice of actions, nor with my inability to make the appropriate choice for myself after I did call them on it. Instead I would want to continue to try and understand why they do what they do and challenge myself to focus on the aspects I admired about them so that I would experience more of that part of them. It didn’t work. I had not recognized my own reflection yet.
Today, once again I took a stand for what I feel is right. We were jointly working on a project and now our partnership to do so has potentially come to an end, and I feel really good about it all – I finally see the reflections.
I’m not feeling rejected because for once I didn’t reject myself and my own truth. I’m also trusting myself, therefore I am demonstrating that I can trust someone – ME!
I am a bright, intelligent woman with a high level integrity. It is time I trust myself, stop rejecting my own truth and honor who I am. It is up to me to be the example I want to see in my community, in my world.
My desire for anyone who feels they need to go against what they know is right in order to get what they want, is that you recognize and have faith in your own inner brilliance! Believe in your ability to “Have it all” (quote from my friend Su Thomas ) in a way that honors all.
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