Coaching With Compassion

 Coaching is a very magical experience.  And research is continuing to uncover scientific proof - very exciting!

Coaching with compassion can 'light up' human thoughts

ScienceDaily (2010-11-19) -- Researchers have used an fMRI to document reactions in the human brain to compassionate and critical coaching methods. Students tended to activate areas of the brain associated with openness to learning when working with coaches who inspired them. Students tended to shut down when coaches were perceived as judgmental. ... > read full article

Stop doing.....

I just came across this great question while reading the description of Marshall Goldsmith’s book, “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”.

“Instead of your usual “To-Do” list, start your “To-Stop” list. Ask yourself, “What am I willing to change right now?” “.

People hire me as their coach to discuss the changes they want to make in their lives. Included in these discussions are often the details of what they no longer want in their lives, such as what they no longer want to be doing. But then we usually go on to discuss what they will do instead… adding to their “to do” lists more and more things to do. I really like Goldsmith’s suggestion of a “to stop” list. To me this means meeting myself exactly where I am in the moment – doing something perhaps unproductive or unconstructive – and doing the very next smallest step… which is STOPPING! I love it! Adding to a “to do” list sometimes ends up contributing to the overwhelming amount of things we already have to do, where as a “to stop” list feels more like taking away from the list of things to do - it's a relief! It may seem like a simply enough reframe, however if it feels better, chances are you’re going to end up with better results.

Here is an invitation to work with Goldsmith’s suggestion, with a twist of Kim (I haven’t actually picked up the book yet so I’m making up the structure). At the end of the day, take some time to reflect. Was there anything that happened during the day that you really would have liked to have seen turn out differently? Perhaps during a conversation you found yourself reacting in a way that triggered a chain of emotional reactions, directing the conversation off topic or to an unwanted result. Or maybe there was a project that didn’t turn or as planned or wasn’t completed on time. Whatever the situation, ask yourself, “What specifically did I do that contributed to this outcome?” Take a few moments to reflect on the thinking pattern, behavior or action that contributed to the experience and acknowledge how you specifically participated in the resulting outcome. You may want use a journal for the process or simply spend time contemplating the experience. Next ask, “What will I ‘stop doing’ to help this result to not happen again”. Add this to your “to stop” list. Don’t worry about what you’re going to do instead, by stopping what you were doing, by default you’ll have to do something else – even if that something else is nothing. Since your intention is to not experience the previous result again, when you stop doing what you did that participated in its happening, chances are that you’ll naturally do something that will lead to the result you want!

Myself, I’ve been noticing lately that I’m not as productive as I’d like to be. I participate in being unproductive by letting myself get distracted by surfing the web; hopping from one social site to the next checking out posts, looking to see if someone commented on a post I made or if there is a new post I want to comment on, checking my email, Googling whatever just popped into my mind… anybody relate to what I’m saying? I’ve added “I will stop the distractive behavior of web surfing while working on a task” to my “to stop” list. This post is a result of that commitment – I just resisted the urge to click on my email when I heard its familiar “ping” a moment ago. However, I do have to admit – this post is a result of getting sidetracked from what I was originally doing… which I’ll be getting back to now :)

Let me know how it goes!

The Magic of Acceptance and Contest Judging

“A little confused about this "Best Spiritual Book contest". I keep getting emails and FB posts from authors - some I know and some I don't - blatantly bribing me and everyone else on their lists, to vote for their book. Isn't this the kind of tactic many people scorn politicians for using.... and this is a "spiritual" book contest? Whoever the winner will be, the win will be a reflection of the votes they were able to solicit, not a reflection of the actual book. Am I missing something? I feel really judgmental about this.”

Over the weekend, I posted the above comment on my Facebook page, transparently admitting my confusion and judgment. A good friend who resonated with my observation encouraged me to not judge myself for the discernment I was expressing, which was a very kind comment. However what I noticed was that the moment I expressed my judgment, thereby acknowledging and accepting the feeling, any “self judgment” that had momentarily crept in, magically disappeared. Through my acceptance of it, I was immediately able to observe my feeling of judgment for what it was, a feeling, and I became more curious about how I felt. This curiosity lead me to check out was the contest’s website to learn more about it.

There, I discovered that my impression that the results of the contest would be a reflection of the votes a contestant was able to solicit actually was one of the intentions of the contest. The whole purpose of the first round in this contest was to teach contestants how to make themselves and their message more visible. This first round, had NOTHING to do with anything the authors may have written – the main intention of this round was to narrow down the contestants to the top 250 authors who could solicit the most votes.

On the site it states: “In this first round the authors rally the support of those they know and learn the art of promoting their message and book. This provides the author with a real life experience of publishing and promoting a book.” http://www.nexttopspiritualauthor.com/ By reading the website, I learnt that one of the main intentions of the contest was to help authors learn more about how to market themselves so that they can be more successful as authors. The more I read about the contest, the more I can appreciate what it is all about. James Twyman shares this about the competition on his personal website http://www.jamestwyman.com/: “The competition, which includes a people’s choice element, will help to establish a publishing path for an emerging spiritual author. Beyond that, all participants – winner or not – will be allowed to participate in an eight-month home study program that will provide them with the skills they need to become a successful author.”

So, all contestants are winning the 8 month home study program - I love it when everyone’s a winner!!

While I still stand by that I don’t care much for being excessively spammed and bribed by people I don’t know, I now understand that for many of the contestants who emailed me, doing so was an exercise to help them stretch out of their comfort zones and that I can support.

Even with the understanding of how the contest is designed, I was still curious about the judgment that got triggered by the numerous emails and posts I received. Another friend made a comment to my post, sharing that she was feeling out the energy of the emails/requests and discerning whether she felt the person was coming from a place of love and generosity or personal desire. When I tuned in, I felt that many were coming from both, and I didn’t really have a problem with either. It is normal for people to desire winning a contest; to desire having their message be heard and understandable to desire wanting that so much they are willing to give stuff away (bribe) in exchange for votes in the hopes of possibly winning a publishing contract especially when that is what they are being encouraged to do. As I acknowledged this new feeling that was now associated with the contest, I wondered how it was that the feeling of judgment got triggered first, and not the more generous energy that I can sense now?

As I continued to curiously sit with this inquiry, I realized that the idea of “bribing for votes” triggers a feeling of dishonesty. I’m immediately reminded of stories I’ve heard through the media where individuals used such tactics to gain votes that would win them positions of power, instead of qualifying for the position due to the true value they intend on bringing to the position. I’m noticing that whenever I witness the tactic of “bribing for a vote” being uses, the past energy of dishonesty is triggered and I immediately become suspicious of whoever is using it. The more my suspicious I become the more judgmental I become – and it that state, I’m not very open.

This is what responding from autopilot is like – which most of us do often, each and every day. We react to situations based on past experiences that get anchored into us. When something happens that is similar to a past experience, it triggers the associated anchored response, which is easy to go along with because it’s already been proven. When this happens with my coaching clients, after acknowledging and accepting how they feel, I ask questions to peek their curiosity, which often encourages them to seek out more information, leading to new understandings and perspectives to discern from. And this was exactly what I did for myself. By first acknowledging and accepting how I felt, not making myself wrong for it, I ignited my curious nature which then opened me up to see more of what is there to see.

As I realized I was reacting to a past association to a tactic that felt dishonest, I wondered how I would have responded to these emails if my first or prevalent association with “bribing for votes” was connected an experience that felt honest or generous. If my past association to the tactic was that I’d gained something of value in return for a vote and if all my vote did, was help someone be seen for the value they had to offer, how differently might I have responded to the numerous requests for votes I received? I imagine that if my overriding association to “bribing for votes” was from that perspective, I probably would have been inclined to vote for each person I resonated with. Or I may have simply been inclined to support them all for having the courage to step out of their comfort zones to support themselves in getting their message out.

As a result of putting my own judgment out there to be seen and heard, not only did I gain clarity about this particular contest – I also learnt more about what was at the core of the resistance I’ve been feeling towards other marketing strategies that I’ve had a hard time aligning with. I realize that most of my judgments of other marketing methods are based on negative associations. Not sure if I’ll be jumping on their band wagon anytime soon, however if there is something there for me, I’m now in a new perspective from which to discern my alignment to it from and it feels… open :)

To all of the contestants that made it to the second round – congratulations on your well earned success and the best of luck to you all.

Any Regrets?

A friend on facebook, Michael Murphy, posted this question today "Is it possible to live without regret? Do you agree or disagree and why?" Here's my response which followed someone's who thought that YES it was possible, because we always have choice and we made the choice.

I agree, it is all about Choice! Regret can also be a choice. I think that if we've made a choice that we didn't align with 100%, that in time we may experience flutterings of regret. That isn't such a bad thing, it's what we DO with it that can potentially harm us.

A fluttering of regret can happen when we get a peek into a "what if" of an alternative past choice. Good news is that choice is always available to us. We can choose how long we stay in the energy that the "what if" brought up, how far we take it and what direction we take it in. Because we can choose our thoughts and perspectives, we can choose what we do with regret when it flutters in.

So is it possible to live without regret? Sure, I believe everything is possible. The question is, is it probable? For many people - no, and that doesn't have to be such a bad thing. Our natural ability to choose can deflate or inflate the impact of regret. We simply need to remember that we can choose, and that we can always choose again, and again and again....

What Is So Difficult About NO?

Do you have a hard time saying no? I do.

Whenever my honey, a colleague, friend or even a stranger asks me something that I need or want to say no to, I find it emotionally challenging. I’ve been really curious about this lately – why it feels so awkward, and how lately, I’ve even felt resentment creep in for being put in the position of having to say No, as if the other person should know better than to ask – and YES I know how irrational that is!! I don’t usually have an issue with my decision initially; I know what I’m willing and able to do or accept at any given time, and what I’m not. However, when it comes to having say that little two letter word – N O – sometimes I buckle and kick myself later for not listening to myself – or it comes out all icky and not at all in a way I feel good about.

Whether or not you can relate personally to what I’m saying, I imagine that you at least know someone, or that you know someone who knows someone, who couldn’t say NO to save their own life. They can have a completely full agenda, and when asked to take on yet another project, instead of saying: "No, I’m full thank you!", “Yes” is the automatic response comes out of their mouth. Know anybody like that – intimately perhaps? Or maybe, you relate more to NO = rejection? Regardless of which side of the equation you are on, if NO equals’ rejection, you’ll either feel rejected or that you are rejecting – neither of which feels good.

So I figure, if it feels so hard to say NO, then I won’t. Instead, I’m going to say Yes – to everything!

What I realized is this; when I’m feeling awkward or even resentful with the NO, my focus is on exactly that – what I’m saying NO to and the two letter word itself. What I’m not focused on is what I’m saying YES to, by default. In reality, whenever we say NO to something, we are actually saying YES to something else. And likewise, when we say YES to something, we are saying NO to something else. What often feels hard for me is the amount of energy and focus I’ve been putting on the response of NO. If saying NO aligns with my own agenda or plans, honors my values, feels congruent and right for me, then the NO is actually a Yes to ME and what is important to ME.

My new game plan is this… to focus on what I am saying YES to, and then to respond from the perspective of YES.

I started writing this post a couple of days ago, and since then I’ve attracted a number of opportunities to use this new strategy. One decision has been whether or not to take on another board position. The helper in me was tempted to say yes, but then I realized that would be saying no to being as effective and efficient in my other commitments and that is not OK with me. I am saying YES to my personal standards, and YES to leaving the space open for someone who can do it well. That feels good.

Another example was being asked if I thought something was a good idea and a straight NO (because I didn’t think it was) would have been a quick response, however, that felt stiff and inflexible. Instead, I took then the time to recognize what the YES was to, and then I expressed myself from that perspective (which aligned with the bigger picture). It felt supportive and good to express myself in that way and the YES was well received.

I’m going to keep this up and if you are like me, and you find it hard to say NO, I invite you to challenge
yourself to find a way of responding to all requests made of you for the next week with a YES. And I’m not suggesting that you simply get wishy washy with your NOs, but to focus on what you are saying YES to, and then to craft your responses from that perspective first. Remember that the YES is often about your own agenda, goals, integrity, self care, personal balance, values, or the bigger picture of whatever the request is about. Saying yes to these feel good – saying NO to helping out… doesn’t always feel so good. So focus on what feels good.

If you take on this challenge, I’d love hear how you do with it. And please remember, while you are working with this challenge, if someone makes a request of you, and inside you authentically feel, 100%, that you need to respond with a clear and unmistakable NO – then please do so, knowing that that NO is really a loud YES to yourself!!!

Winter and Spring Workshops with The Ottawa Catholic School Board

Hey - I'm offering a number of workshops through the Ottawa Catholic School Board for Continuing Education. Registration for the March dates ends soon - so if interested contact them right away.

Pattern Busting – Create the Patterns that Lead to a Life You Want

Learn how to recognize your unwanted or unhealthy patterns. Participants will identify the thoughts, belief and values that are running the patterns and which one(s) need to shift to create more desirable outcomes. You'll learn a number of Kim's Pattern Busting self coaching tools, which will open up your peripheral, enabling you to see all of the possibilities and options that are available to you in any moment! Learning this tool will empower you to create life enhancing patterns!
Winter and Spring Dates 2010
9:30 am - 2:00 pm
Saturday March 6, 2010 or Saturday May 8, 2010

The Value of Money & You

How you value and treat your finances is a direct reflection of how you value yourself! During this workshop you will identify what is most important to you - your personal values - as well as how you truly feel about money. You'll break through the limiting beliefs, behaviours, and attitudes that have been sabotaging your prosperity and strengthen your relationship to the value of you. Aligning your inner worth with your outer worth will naturally result in more prosperous and abundant living.
Winter and Spring Dates 2010
9:30 am - 2:00 pm
Saturday March 27, 2010 or Saturday April 17, 2010

Conscious Creation Group Coaching
Create a balanced and fulfilling life this year by working with a professionally certified Life Coach. Within the first few classes you will uncover your core values, set S.M.A.R.T. goals and create a plan of action aligned with your values. Then in the following weeks you'll receive the coaching you need to keep you accountable and true to yourself. With the help of your coach, you will break through any self-sabotaging unconscious patterns or limiting beliefs ensuring success in achieving your outcomes. Class is open for 10-12 participants - so enroll early!
Spring Dates 2010
7:00 pm- 9:30 pm
Wednesdays from April 21 – June 9, 2010


Please note the above workshops are being offered through the Ottawa Catholic School Board. Please visit their site at www.fallconnections.com for registration details or call 613-228-3338.

Year End Ritual and Emotional Intentions for 2010

I really wanted to send this out earlier in the week, to give you all the time to complete the year end exercises prior to the end of 2009 – but I just wasn’t feeling it, it wasn’t flowing. So I decided to investigate what was happening cosmically that could be affecting my flow – and it then it made sense.

This year is ending with some pretty wild and conflicting energy. While the end of the year is usually a powerful time for setting intentions, this year being amplified by a full moon – an eclipsed blue moon at that – we also have the energies of two planetary retrogrades compromising our efforts; Mercury and Mars. Mercury’s retrograde influence messes up all means of communications, which includes the communication we send out (goals/intentions) as well what we receive – inspiration and messages. While Mars’ retrograde influence is stirring some our darker emotions such as repressed frustrations and anger – not a good mix for planning the New Year. However I do feel it is still a great time for releasing and clearing space – both the inner and outer. The effects of the blue moon and eclipse will still amplify our intentions; I just wouldn’t be putting too much energy into getting too specific about them yet. A few weeks will bring more clarity and you may be inspired into a whole new direction.

To really make the most of this energetic potpourri, this will be my ritual this year which I offer to you as well:

Sometime today , (or whatever day you are reading this) write out a list of all that you intend to release from 2009 and the other 10 years that made up this decade (to top it all off, we are also completing a decade ). It feels important at this time to be releasing it all; the good, the bad and the neutral – all we are grateful for and all we simply wish to leave behind. Write it all out. What patterns and beliefs have held on to you? Feel the appreciation you have for their contribution to your life and let them be. By releasing them all, you create space for the beliefs and patterns that will align with your intentions for 2010 to come in. In order to continue moving forward, co-creating a sustainable world, I feel it is important to continually be releasing for renewal, in order to maintain harmony with the earth.

Then, I invite you to safely burn these pages. Optimally, if you get a chance to do this today, then this evening go outside and burn them under the blue full moon. Allow the alchemic process of fire to transform the words on the paper.

Complete this ritual by setting three emotional intentions for 2010. Make sure they are personal expressions of how you want to be feeling in 2010, knowing that who you are will be reflected in the world around you. For example, you may intend freedom, joy and peace or influence, peace and enthusiasm or simply, joy, joy and more joy! With the two retrogrades going on, I’m not feeling inclined to get too specific yet in planning which activities will result in my intended emotions for 2010. Past experience has proven to me that by setting the emotional intentions, and projecting them into a future time space, that the events and experiences between now and then will naturally unfold and result in the intended feeling, so that is good enough for me. I don’t need to know “exactly how” right now, it will flow naturally.

Once you have your three emotional intentions, close your eyes and imagine yourself on December 31st, 2010, looking back on the year and feeling that way about the year. Imagine feeling that way throughout the year as well. Do this for a few minutes – possibly between the minutes of 11:58pm tonight and 12:02 am New Year’s Day. If that timing doesn’t work – anytime will be great!

Later on the in month of January, once I can harness the communicative energies of Mercury again, I’ll sit down with my wise counsel and get some more clear direction for the upcoming year.

The essence of this ritual for me is to intentional and gratefully release for renewal, knowing the wisdom of it all is a part of me and to set emotional intentions for the New Year.

And of course – to celebrate it all with some bubbly!!
Happy Happy Happy 2010

Attracting Miracles

I love setting an intention, forgetting that I’ve done so and then being surprised as I experience the magic of how it manifests as a reality!

This is exactly what happened last week while on vacation in Sedona, Arizona. As Daniel and I were venturing out on a vortex trek to Bell Rock one morning he ask me; “What do you want to attract today?” I smiled and joyfully giggled “I want to attract miracles!” Then we continued our hike towards Bell Rock, enjoying the trail and forgetting all about this intention until we met up with the first of many miracles we’d attract that day.

For both of us, this was our first trip to this spiritually energy infused landscape, and while we knew there were a number of energy vortexes amid the massive red rocks, we were not yet intimately familiar with each by name. At one point of our journey towards Bell Rock, I had a strong feeling that we were heading in the wrong direction. Some of the signs were vague, letting us know we were on the “Bell Rock Path” however with no indication as to which direction the intended destination was in. It was a day of trusting ourselves to rely on the less obvious signs as appose to the more direct ones, which proved to be somewhat elusive. We noticed another path which also confirmed it as a “Bell Rock Path” and decide to take it. Soon it proved to be leading us closer to the two larger of the red rock masses in the area.

As we got close to the base of the first large rock, we still were not in agreement as to which it was. I thought the more rounded rock on the right was Bell Rock, and Daniel thought it was the closer one, which was later confirmed to be the Courthouse Butte, by a cyclist we met along the way – who would end up being my first miracle of the day.

At first glance I saw a man sitting on the ground, with his bike next to him taking a break from riding.

Then I noticed the glittering of metal and realized he possessed mechanical legs – not just one, but two. Immediately I was struck in awe of this man’s ability to ride a bike, however it was only after we continued on our journey toward Bell Rock that my eyes welled up as I realized that I had just experienced the miracle I had asked for. As a result of his life experience, this man had lost both of his natural legs and was living life, doing what he loved, with two artificial legs. We had encountered a walking, talking, cycling miracle!

The cyclist was also able to give us the time, which made us realize that we had yet to reach the base of Bell Rock even though we had been hiking for 2 hours and that it was time for lunch. Our options now were to skip lunch and continue the climb up Bell Rock or to return another day and make the climb. Since both of us had only eaten a very light breakfast, we opted to return another day. However that still left us with at least a 1.5 hour hike back to the car, so I asked for a more specific miracle next. I intended that we would meet someone to drive us back to our car otherwise we’d be eating lunch with dinner.

We walked to the parking lot at the base of Bell Rock to find someone to drive us to our car. (*Note – we had parked in a lot miles away from the base, not realizing there was one much closer, yet our experiences confirmed that this was no mistake due to our intention for the day!) There were a number of people around, however they were either just arriving at the site or had just come back to their car for a break. As we started our long trek back we met up with a group of people at the end of their hike. They were all members of a local hiking club, and while the ladies we approached were heading in the opposite direction of us, they assured us a couple of their friends were heading back to town and would be happy to drive us to our car. Within minutes we were getting into the back seat of a convertible BMW with two gentlemen who were delighted to have us be their good deed of the day! Very grateful for miracle #2!

Next we headed to the Airport for lunch, then to the Airport vortex site. There we met a couple who had been to these sites often and shared with us a known, but not easily found gem of a spot by Cathedral Rock. The key was to arrive there at the start of sunset to catch the beautiful reflection of the rock in a stream along the path. To get there, we had to know to cross over some logs at a certain place along the stream,

which I imagine many people would have missed. Our third miracle was meeting people to guide us to this breath enhancing view.

More miracles followed – and I’ll share them in another post.

As you set out on your journey called "today", intend what you want to attract, and when you ask for miracles, be prepared to be blessed in ways you never could have even imagined to ask for!

Persitent Messages!!

Here is a blog I enjoy visiting on Tuesday’s, for the author’s Tarot Tuesday’s. Every Tuesday Sheri picks a card and then offers her interpretation of it. She then encourages you to reflect on the card and discern it’s meaning for you. Today her card was from Doreen Virtue’s Archangel Oracle cards.

A great reminder card for me today - in case I wasn't getting of all the other hints the universe has been providing me lately. Claircognizance is my “clair” (or as I prefer to call it, my expanded sense) and I've been second guessing it a lot over the past year. As a result, the universe has been providing me with an abundance of opportunities to second guess my inner knowing just so I can experience the "I knew it" feeling ... great validation! When we simply follow your inner knowing, we often have to "trust" it was the right insight in the moment, because we have no way to prove what would have happened if we hadn't followed it.

As a conscious creator, I've been getting caught up in acknowledging the directive of my inner knowing and then wondering if I should be challenging myself to focus on creating what I “want” in spite of what I “know”.

Can I?

My experience has been, sometimes yes and sometimes not - again I need to remember to lean back into the inner knowing and trust the continued directive I receive as to whether or not it is in the best interest of all involved to consciously focus on influencing the outcome. To lean into the inner knowing is to effect change by harnessing the "Inner Power" and not from forced energy (as in the book Power VS Force by David Hawkins).
As the Serenity Prayer encourages, may we all have: "The strength to change what we can, accept what we can't change and may we all have the wisdom to know the difference".

What - Me Stressed???

Here is a note I wrote in response to Mary Allens Inner Peace Practice video - after you read please watch it!

Hi Mary - I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your new videos. Today's was exceptionally brilliant - and timely. Recently I've been informed by two different health care providers, that my stress level was affecting my thyroid and adrenals... and I didn't even realize I was experiencing stress. The first naturopath discovered this through a bio-feedback like technology (NES) and to be honest, I wasn't convinced of its accuracy because I didn't "get" that I was experiencing stress. Then yesterday, my new naturopath (my previous one moved to BC), having received the results of my blood work informed of the same thing!

I share this, because as you say in your video, much of society has been conditioned to accept stress as normal - and that is dangerous because in doing so we can also, by default, start accepted the results of stress as normal.... yickes!

Good news, right after I received the news yesterday from my naturopath I received an email from my neighbour inviting me for a salt water swim and hot tub soak at her health club. First temptation was to respond with my usual "I've got too much to do" but I didn't - instead I said "I'd love to and thank you so much for thinking of me." I definitely used the opportunity to start strengthening those "inner peace" and “self care” muscles.

Much love and appreciation for you!
Kim

Reality Alchemy #3 – Believe in Possibilities!

On facebook today someone posted that “If you want to draw something into your life, decide what it is and then act as though you have it. Works for me.” Great advice!
As I continued to read, one poster asked “what about a person with a disability, in pain and low mobility?” Reading this I pictured someone sitting at home, wanting god knows what, trying to “act as it” and wondering why it isn’t working for them.

I hear comments like this all the time from people who are experiencing a condition that the person declaring success isn’t, and how they really want to believe – yet it truly isn’t working for them. Does this mean this poster is wrong? No, they are absolutely right, it really can work for everyone, however there is a missing necessity here that will affect whether or not it works for someone, and simply put, that is the belief that it can.

Here is what I added to the thread:
“Often times the first obstacle is our thoughts about what we think or believe is possible due to circumstances - such as yours. First step then is to open to the possibility that anything is possible, even though you can't see how in the moment. Start where you are, feel how it feels to be open to possibilities, and then once you feel yourself believing that, it is easier to focus on attracting what it is that you want. Unfortunately, if you don’t think it is possible, chances are you’ll prove yourself right. Remember how the light bulb and airplanes were once just some wild idea? Two perfect examples of the power of belief in possibilities.”

I also want to add, that if someone is asking for some pie in the sky wish, that if the opportunity came to actually get it, chances are that they wouldn’t even know what to do with it – you have got to let those go! Make sure your wants are what you really want and what you are committed to taking action to get. If you are sitting at home saying “I wish I could travel to the moon” – then you better be prepared to do what it takes to make that possible. Or if you were wishing you were someplace warm and sunny and you can’t afford a trip – you better be at least willing to enter contests where travel is the prize. There are a gazillion ways that our desired outcomes can manifest – the key is to not be attached to how it happens, just believe that it can (consciously and unconsciously). Also, to be open and ready to act on the opportunities that will lead to your desired outcome when they present themselves. If you aren’t ready to act, if you are just sitting there wanting someone to knock on your door and give you a free trip without you having done a thing or followed any of the leads the universe sends... then you better believe with every fiber of your being, consciously and unconsciously that it is possible, otherwise you are deluding yourself. But if you do believe….it just might happen - because EVERYTHING is possible!

The Guy in the Glass

I was at a seminar last night with Ron White - The Memory Guy and he recited this poem by memory. That was not the most amazing feat he demonstrated - however the poem itself really resonated with me in respect to the work I do with my clients. I see my work as helping people connect with the "guy/gal in the glass" so that more of their life experience ends up being fulfilling!
Enjoy the read - and may it inspire you to make friends with that face that you see in the mirror!


The Guy in the Glass
by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
In grateful memory of our father, the author, Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954

Is There A Drainer In Your Life?

Are there people in your life that leave you feeling drained? You know the people I mean – regardless of how they start out, your conversations with them end up focused problems, what is wrong, complaints and negative rants. In spite of your attempts to steer the conversation to a lighter side, this just fuels their need to take a stand for their perspective with an almost admirable energy of conviction.

In most cases these people aren’t doing this to be mean or to bring you down. It is just the way they think.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we learn about people’s Meta Programs which in short, help us to understand our various thinking patterns. Some people will have a tendency to notice what is right, working well, the good and will expand their conversations to reinforce these views. While others who naturally have the tendency to notice what is wrong, needs fixing and the bad will expand on such in their conversations.

Neither pattern is the “better way” of thinking, they each serve their purpose. Seeing what is right can lead us to feeling resourceful and good inside and as a result, more open to options and opportunities. Noticing what is wrong or needs fixing can leave one feeling needed and inspired to help make something better.

However like anything, when either focus is taken to an extreme both can lead to undesirable effects. For example, someone who insists on only ever seeing the positive, regardless of the circumstance may experience delusions and be in denial about some life situations that they really need to pay attention to. While someone who always sees the negative or notices what is wrong may experience less optimal moods on a regular basis and may become lethargic or depressed. You can avoid these extreme by remaining aware of how your thinking is making you feel – inspired, needed, curious, wanting to take action or down, depressed, isolated or delusional.

As a conscious creator, we know that ever what we focus on we will experience more of. Ideally you want to be able to see “all” of a situation, the good and bad, what is working well and what requires adjusting. From there the key is to maintain your focus on your desired outcome; to identify what the next step towards your desired outcome is and take it. Then the next step and next… continuing to acknowledge “all” of where you are NOW, to best discern what that next step will be. It is ok to see the negative, what makes the difference is what you do with this view. Do you expand on it, or does it inspire you into making a difference and taking action?

In respect to the people in your life, who are constantly draining your energy with their pessimistic views and negative conversations, remember that this is simply a thought and response pattern, in the moment being experienced at an extreme. It isn’t personal. There will always be events that will trigger us to lean more towards either end of the spectrum, bringing about more positive or less positive attitudes. However if you know someone who is constantly leaning over to the negative and find it draining, perhaps to the point of feeling toxic, here are a few tips that will help you to limit your time in this energy:

· After listening for a few moments change the subject. Start by looking for something you can genuinely compliment them on. Ideally the sincere flattery will shift their energy and focus, and then you can redirect the conversation in that lighter energy.

· Make it a constructive conversation by asking them what they would do differently. Challenge them into thinking of the opportunity being presented instead of just complaining and ranting about it.

· Acknowledge that they seem to be on a rant, ask them how much time they need to do so, (5-10min max.) and then agree to shift to a more uplifting conversation at that time - which may include what to do about it. Sometime people just need permission to clear. Give it a deadline.

· Take yourself out of the conversation. In a social environment, excuse yourself, look for people who are smiling and join them with your smile. Make sure to refrain from sharing what you just experience with the other person – leave that experience behind you. When on the phone, simply state you need to go now – no excuse necessary. If you are in a situation that you can’t escape then keep reading…

· Call them on it. Many people who have this tendency really like to think of themselves as positive people (and they usually are) and don’t even realize what they are doing. Offer that you notice they keep focusing on the negative – and get curious with them about it. There may be something going on underneath that they really need to talk about - especially if this is not their usual pattern of conversation. You could be attracting this part of them, as an opportunity to help them.

· Express your boundaries. If a friend, colleague or family member constantly brings up a topic that you do not want to discuss, tell them so and request that they not discuss this topic with you. I once had a neighbor who spoke about people from other cultures as well as people who are gay in a derogatory manner. For awhile I over looked these comments from this 70ish years of age gentleman, whom I realized grew up in a very different time than I. By overlooking, I realized I was indirectly encouraging the comments that I truly found offensive. One day I kindly, yet clearly, let him know that I neither appreciated nor condoned such comments, and respectfully requested that refrain from expressing them to me. He stopped. The added bonus was that I felt he demonstrated a greater respect for me as a result of that conversation.

· Remind yourself that this is just ONE part of their personality that you are attracting from them in the moment and start focusing on the parts of them you enjoy. This is one of my favorites, and a habit I find effectively rewarding. Believing that someone is more than they are demonstrating in any given moment is a powerfully attractive attitude; one that magically inspires the person at the receiving end of focus to embody.

© All Right Reserved 2009 Kim Barnwell - http://www.conscious-creation.com/

Choices – Realizing what you are really saying Yes and No to?

Consider that every choice you make has an effect. Every time you say yes to something/one, you are saying no to something/one else. What you say yes to effects that which you say yes and no to and what your say no to affects that which you say no and yes to.

This little insight – or reminder – came today as I found myself having to say no to my honey, which is particularly challenging for me as he does SOOOO much for me that I truly appreciate. (Kisses Honey).

I'll give you some context and illustrate this point at the same time.

Here in Ottawa we are experiencing a bus strike. The unionized workers of our public transportation provider were not pleased with some of the conditions that were being proposed in their renewing contract. As a result of the changes the city wanted to make, they were saying yes and no to certain needs of their employees and their working conditions (I won’t go into those details). As a result, the union and employees said yes to fighting for the conditions they want to keep and no to the ones being suggested by the city. As a result of that, they said yes to a strike and no to providing public transportation to approximately 1 million people. This 1 million people includes their own neighbors, friends and family, therefore I can only imagine that this decision wasn’t made in haste. (BTW, I am not writing this to judge – my intention is to use this example to share a message).

As a result of the strike, thousands of people have had to change how they work and commute about the city. My partner, who regularly travels to work downtown by bus, has chosen to work from home most days, saying no to contributing to and driving in high traffic volumes and saying yes to being flexible, saving on gas, parking fees, time and so forth. Since I work from home as well, his saying yes to working from home has an impact on me. While this means saying yes to more frequent kisses throughout the day it also means saying yes to more distractions and no to productivity to some degree. Obviously the kisses aren’t an issue, however there are a number of other areas we’ve both said yes and no to in order to be flexible and accommodate each others needs during this time.

During the first couple of weeks, this was easy enough to do, however “easy” became “challenging” as the effects of the some of the YESES and NO’S continued to negatively affect my sense of productivity throughout each day. While it is very important to me to be flexible for my partner, I had to address what I was really saying yes and no to by doing so. I realized that by saying yes to being accommodating, in some cases I was saying no to having my needs for being productive met. It was time to start making some different choices in hopes that my Honey would understand and work with me (which of course he does!)

Bottom line, when we say yes or no to any one thing, by default or conscious choice we are saying yes and no to something as well. When we have a challenging time reconciling with our decisions or they become tough to follow through on, we need to take some time to acknowledge all that we've said yes and no to by making this choice – and then adjust accordingly.

Attitude Lifter!

I loved this movie! Best 15 minutes of my day!

Validation

Celebrating and Completing 2008

Happy Holidays Everyone!!

Since some of you have contacted me requesting my “Year Closing Exercise” I thought I’d post it on my blog again, as a holiday gift from my heart to yours! I have tweaked it a bit as I do every year, and have just added a brand new powerful emotional/forgiveness clearing exercise. It came through me as I was contemplating how I might come to peace with respect to a personal friendship that ended this year. As I completed it myself, I was in awe of the powerful emotional healing I experienced.

This is a two part exercise. First we acknowledge and celebrate ALL that you’ve accomplished in 2008. Take the time to acknowledging yourself, your efforts, your contribution, your successes and wins and even the perceived failures as there were gems to be gleaned from them too which makes them a success! Hopefully you’ve been expressing self gratitude all year round – and if not, this is the time to really let yourself have it!! Celebrate!!

In part two, you get to clean up any unfinished business – whether that is on a physical or emotional level. I love what Caroline Myss advices on wounded stories – tell it three times and then move on! I see the end of the year as a good time to consciously move on; to release any disempowering stories and the emotions connected to them that affect your energy so as not to drag them into the New Year. Sometimes letting go of the story and feelings IS as simple as deciding to do so, while other times it isn’t as simple as that. When it isn’t that easy, there is often more to learn from the experience, for our own personal growth and for that reason I have included some exercises that help facilitate the release of as much as possible now.

Ideally, you complete the exercises prior to the year’s end, consciously entering the New Year full of gratitude and ready to focus on what you want to consciously create in 2009.

In summary, part one is about reviewing and celebrating the year. This is an opportunity to recall and possibly gain further awareness or insights from the events of 2008. Part two is about releasing, forgiving and expressing gratitude for all of the events that made up 2008.
The exercise may take you from one hour to as much time as you need to complete.
So go get your 2008 journal, diary, day timer, agenda and anything else that will help jog your memory of the past year as well as a pen and paper. Get nice and comfy, creating a sacred environment for yourself - light some candles, burn some incense and have some tea, wine or favorite beverage.

Part One
The Year’s Review

Review the events of the year and take some time now to gain whatever more you can from the experiences. We all know the value of hind sight – time and distance provide a new perspective from which we can glean more insights from the more challenging and memorable events of our life.
Starting with January of 2008 ask yourself the following questions and work your way forward to now:

What were the key events of 2008
What did you learn as a result of these experiences? What else?
Who was involved in your life this year and in what capacities? What part of you did they reflect? What part of you, reflected in them, did you accept or reject?
What and who assisted in your growth this year?
What obstacles have you overcome?
What goals did you accomplish?
How did you contribute your ‘self’ and talents this year? To whom?
How were other people impacted by your contribution to their lives over the past year? (Be generous here!!)
What goals did you set and did not yet accomplish? Are you complete with this goal? Is it time to let it go or recommit with same alterations perhaps?
Did you stretch beyond your perceived abilities - meaning do things you didn't think you could or would have done in prior years.
How are “you” different from who “you” were in January of 2008

Cleaning up 2008

If you find yourself having any unpleasant emotional responses in respect to any of the events of the past year, here are some methods to use that will serve to guide you towards the core of these emotions helping you release them. No need to do them all and doing a combination may be valuable. The variety is offered to honor that one method does not necessarily fit all!

1. Ask yourself: What is still triggering me? What more can I learn from this event that I simply haven’t recognized yet? Take a step back and look at the experience objectively, as if it happened to someone else. See yourself in the situation, as if you are looking at a movie. From this position, what do you notice that is new, different? What else can you now learn from this perspective that wasn’t as clear before? It may help to discuss the situation with someone who wasn’t involved.

2. Close your eyes, center yourself, take a few deep breaths… that’s right… right from the diaphragm. Picture the person that you still have an emotion towards in your minds eye, or think of them and feel their vibration. Ask them “What other message(s) do you have to offer me?” Listen. Then go within and ask if there is a message you have for them. Listen. If it feels appropriate to communicate a message directly to the other person, do your best to do so prior to the years end; by voice, in-person or by writing. If it does not feel appropriate to do so, write it down and then tear it up or burn it.If you did get a message for them, ask yourself how this message could possibly assist you as well. (often the advice we get for others applies to us as well ;) )

3. Close your eyes, center yourself, take a few deep breaths… that’s right…right from the diaphragm. Go over the experience in your mind. Notice the emotions that are arising within you. Are you being reminded of any other past event? If yes, what are the similarities? Can you recall any events just prior to the one you are exploring? What you are doing here is making a connection to how you attracted the experience to yourself in the first place and you may possibly recognize a pattern that you may be attracting. What you learn from the experience now, may assist you in not repeating the pattern again.

4. Write it out. Write out the experience and your emotions. While writing ask yourself questions to lead you to more understanding, such as; What does this emotion tell me about how I really felt? If I knew of another experience that had the same feeling connected with it, what might it be? How would I have interpreted this event without this feeling? What were the facts? What am I making the facts mean? What else could they mean? Is the feeling connected to the facts or what I made the facts mean? What happens emotionally when I change the meaning of the facts? Continue with any questions to come to you until you feel complete.

This final exercise is powerfully effective in connecting with any remaining emotions such as hurt, regret, disappointment, betrayal or even anger that you may still be feeling towards a person. Over the past year many of us had some more challenging experiences that contributed to our growth, however may have included painful circumstances in order to facilitate our evolutionary journey. These included experiences that may have felt like you’d been betrayed, abandoned, lied to, deceived or just left you confused. If when you think of the person(s) involved and are still feeling like authentic forgiveness is a big leap, then this final exercise may provide the deeper insights and lesson to free your self, allowing forgiveness to heal and release. I do feel a responsibility to add a word of caution before completing this one:

Do not complete this exercise if you are healing emotions from sexual abuse, physical abuse or rape. This exercise is not ideal for extremely strong emotions that a person may have from more traumatic experiences, where they may have been harmed physically or deeply psychologically. If you have had such an experience and are looking to release the emotions associated with such traumatic events, please speak to your psychologist or a licensed therapist.

Reflection Exercise

For this exercise you’ll need a mirror and a candle. You can either stand or sit in front of one, ensuring you’ll be in a comfortable position to complete the exercise.
Light the candle, positioning it within easy view, while consciously connecting to your higher self, god self, greater self – that part of you that is loving and wise beyond reason.
Once you feel this connection, look into the mirror and think about the person whom you still are not feeling at peace with, that you want and are ready to let go of.

Thinking of this person, while looking into your own eyes, imagine that you are looking into their eyes. Notice how you feel as you think of this person and see them in your reflection.
Whatever emotion you are feeling towards them, you are also feeling towards a part of you.
Ask: “ What part of me is this feeling about?” Listen for the answer. If the answer feels incomplete, simply take a deep breath in and out, remaining focused on seeing their face and eyes as you are looking at yours, connected to your greater self and either repeat the question or request “Tell me more.”
When you feel you’ve connected to the deeper insight or lesson, ask: “How do I let this feeling go? What is required of me?”
Wait for the answer.

Remember all choices are yours. Follow the guidance of your greater self. If for any reason you do not feel able to fulfill it’s (your) request, continue the conversation by stating so and ask how else…. Continue conversing with your greater self, while maintaining eye contact in the mirror and imagining it is the other person whose eyes you are gazing into.

Ask; “Is there anything else I need, in order to be at peace with …. (name of person) and the part of me they represent?”
Listen.
Continue asking your greater self questions until you experience looking at into your eyes, imagining them looking back at you, and feeling either at peace, love, forgiveness, or neutral.
Once this feeling is present, thank them for the gift of serving you this way – providing you can do so authentically – or simply say thank you.
Look away from the mirror.
Blow out the candle with a feeling of gratitude for you connection to your greater self.
Exercise is complete.

If you need to do this exercise for more that one relationship, then I recommend when you are complete each one fully as mentioned above. Get up and have a drink of water and then return to the spot and start again with the lighting of the candle. This is to ensure the connection to the prior person has been completed so that the next will have your complete energy and attention.
If none of these exercises work for some of the experiences, that is fine. It may not be the right time for you to be complete with the experience. Accept that you have done the best you can for now and trust that when the time is right, resolution will happen in the best way possible.

Part two

Once you have reviewed the year, acknowledge in writing all that you are grateful for, and all you are ready to release and/or forgive. Be sure to include your accomplishments, goals achieved, growth stretches, and obstacles overcome.

Release and Forgive

In respect to all the events and people involved, complete the following sentences:

I bless and release my experience of these events........ (list the various events)

I bless and forgive and release .......(name of person) Thank you for your active participation in my life.

Also take this time to release any outdated beliefs or attitudes that no longer serve you.I bless and release my past need to……. (name belief or attitude you are releasing) I am grateful that it has served me in the past and brought me to this point in my life.

Celebrate with Gratitude

I believe we are all aware of the power of gratitude! Focus on your heart center, allowing it to fill with love and appreciation as you complete the following sentences:

I am grateful for........ (brief summary of event)I am grateful for……. (name of person and briefly why).
I am grateful to have had ……. (name the impact of your contribution)…. impact on….. (person, people or system you impacted).

Once complete, if you are able to safely do so, burn these papers with the intention that doing so symbolizes the rejuvenating transformation that fire brings, promoting new growth! If you are unable to do so safely, you can shred them by hand feeling the release and gratitude as you do so.

YEAH!!!! You have just created a vibrant, clear space within yourself having released the energy of 2008, creating space which can now be filled with your dreams and aspirations for 2009! The energy of gratitude that you allow to trail behind you, will naturally draw more for you to be grateful for in 2009.

Take some time early in the New Year to articulate what you want in your life, for your life and how you want to show up in 2009. What do you want to accomplish, contribute and how do you want to grow? Celebrate bringing in the year by create a fun collage that reflects your aspirations for 2009.


From my heart to yours - thank you for having contributed to my life in 2008 and I wish you all the best as you consciously create 2009. Happy Holidays!

Trying to Figure It All Out?

Do you too hard to “figure” it all out??

Now that you are aware of the power within you, to consciously create your life, do you find yourself sometimes dissecting the events of your day, trying to figure out what “YOU” did to get what you got? The other day my partner came home looking exhausted. He shared his day with me, which was packed full of challenging situations. After reliving them with me, one after the other, he asks, in a breath of defeat: “how did I attract this today”? On top of having a crappy day, he was getting down on himself for having attracted the crap – like that helps at all! (Read last line with sarcastic tone!)

One of the pitfalls of becoming aware of the law of attraction and the other universal principles, is that while they helps us to acknowledge “how it all works”, we can often get caught up in trying to figure it all out. As we are trying to figure “it” out , we remain in the energy of “it” and if “it” is a crappy day, then we risk attracting more crap. It doesn’t matter how you attracted the challenges of the day – what matters is that you are aware of it and that you acknowledge that you have the power to re-create your day right NOW! You don’t always need to know how you got “here”, you do need to acknowledge that from “here” you have the power within to redirect yourself to where you want to be, regardless of what is behind you.

The bottom line is that trying to figure it out, is the long route to conscious creation. Sometimes it’s necessary, yet often it’s not. Here is the short cut. Decide NOW, right NOW what you want, then knowing where you are NOW identifying the next step forward and do it! Getting sucked into constantly trying to figure out the past, no matter how recent will just bring you more of it (not always, but often) to you. You know how it works; focus your attention on what you want in any moment, then listen to your inner guidance for direction. It may come from within you or from around you – trust that when you ask and intend your next step will come.

Create a vibrant day!

Reality Alchemy #2 - Understanding Cause and Effect

What Came First, The Chicken or the Egg???

You know what it’s like to get caught up in an emotional downward spiral. One moment you’re feeling absolutely fabulous and suddenly you’re aware that you’ve somehow spun into a negative funk. You realize you’ve become angry, irritated or self deprecating; thinking thoughts that are perpetuating the mood. How did you get there so fast?

Some experts would suggest that a thought, triggered by an external event resulted in an emotion and it spiraled from there. While others would suggest an emotion, triggered by an external event, then triggered thoughts aligned with the emotion. It’s a matter of cause and effect, but what’s the first cause? Kind of like trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg (figured that one out yet?)

Consider that:

Before a thought is a cause, it’s been an effect… every thought causes an effect.
Before an emotions is a cause, it’s been an effect… every emotion causes an effect.

Both emotions and thought are the cause and the effect and until we determine “original cause” in the world of chaos (good luck! :) ) we need to realize this.

As we respond to events, moment by moment, trying to figure out whether a feeling came before a thought or visa versa… well that takes a sort of mental discipline that most of us don’t yet possess. A more effective approach to start with is; the moment you start noticing how a thought is causing an emotion and how the emotion is causing the next though – you can intercede. Shift the current flow of cause and effect of your current stream of thoughts and emotions by choosing either a thought or an emotion that will start altering your current course.

For example – I’m upset at my boyfriend for not noticing, the moment he came home from work, that I’ve cleaned the floor and washed the car. I feel hurt that he hasn’t noticed and start thinking that he doesn’t care. Then I feel sad and start wondering “what does he expects of me?… is this not enough earn his appreciation?” Now I’m feeling angry, I worked so hard all day and got a bunch of chores done…I think you get the point.
The moment I become aware of how my thoughts and emotions are sending me down the stream into an emotional and mental frenzy, I stop… I take a deep breathe and choose a new thought. I choose to remember all the times he has expressed gratitude for something
I’ve done; like the last time I did our laundry. Immediately the emotion shifts to a feeling of calm. Then I become curious as to how his day was so I ask. He shares the many challenges of his day. Now I’m feeling compassion for him. I start wondering about what I can do to help him release the stress of the day. Next thing you know, he looks around, takes a whiff and says “mmmm…. it smells so clean in here, did you wash the floor?” “Thanks honey….”

To summarize, here are the steps to getting back into a more desirable stream of cause and effect:

1. Awareness – notice how your thoughts and feelings are flowing in the moment
2. Accept that you are the one participating in this current flow and you are the one who can change it. Take a deep breath in.
3. Alter your course by choosing a thought or feeling that you know will cause a more desirable emotion or thought.
4. Awareness – notice how your thoughts and feelings are flowing now

So what came first, the chicken or the egg? It you figure that one out, please let me know!

Reality Alchemy #1 – Attitude Lifters

Our attitudes have a direct effect on how we experience our reality. Whether you see the cup as half empty or half full doesn’t really matter. What does matter is what you make that mean; does “half empty” mean there’s plenty of room for more, or that you’re almost out of water. Does “half full” remind you that your cup isn’t full, or that you still have lots of water left? It’s the meaning we give the facts of our lives that creates our reality and it’s our attitude that triggers the meaning we end up assigning these facts. If you want to alchemize your reality, change the meaning you’re giving it by altering your attitude!

Next time you want to alchemize your reality, use one of these attitude lifters!

Attitude Lifters

1. This too shall pass. Whatever is going on now, will soon be in the past. At some point in time it will be done with and resolved in some way, shape or form.

2. Shift your focus. There is much more going on in this moment that you could be focusing on. Look around you; what can you focus on that will result in a better feeling? The sky, a flower, animals playing, a picture or thought of a loved one or an inspiring quote.

3. If you are in an argument and the other person is showing you a part of them that you don’t like, remember that is only one part of them. They have many other parts to them that you probably not only love, but admire. If you’re dealing with a stranger, then envision them in a tender moment, as a child or receiving a gift. We are all multi-facetted and have many moments – good and bad. The more you focus on the good in a person, the more you’ll experience that part of them.

4. It’s not about you. How a person is responding to you usually has to do with them and how they are interpreting the situation. It is rarely personal. Remember that and it will help you disassociation from “their stuff”.

5. It’s all about you. How you are responding is usually about you and how you are interpreting the situation. Open yourself up to seeing other perspectives and possibilities. Ask clarifying questions, you may be “off the mark” with your current perspective! Be responsible for the perspective you choose.

6. Stick to the “facts” and drop the story. Adding meaning to events and situations that make you feel bad is a choice, one you don’t have to make! Stick to the facts! If you insist on fabricating a story out of it, make it an inspiring one!

7. A great reality checker in any situation is to ask your self, “Will this matter 10 or 15 years from now?” When the answer is no, notice how the emotions calm a bit. If the answer happens to be yes, than ask your self “What can I do about it now?”

8. SMILE! Every chance you get, SMILE. Make sure to smile in a mirror at least 5 times a day to experience the impact of your smile. Smiles are built-in manual “attitude lifters” that don’t cost a thing – and on the receiving end are priceless!

Our attitude also affects our health and impact the quality of our lives! Follow this link and read this article on the correlation between “attitude” and “longevity”.

Weight Loss

The Law of Attraction Way V.S. Consciously Creating a Healthy Body

I recently interviewed two Law of Attraction authors for the CTI Law of Attraction Community. It was a different sort of interview for me, because it was scripted. As the interviewer this meant I was asking questions I would not necessarily have asked and I felt that asking questions outside the script would be a “faux pas”. Awesome learning experience and for the most part is was a great interview, both authors being very personable and fun interviewees.

There were some topics that I definitely could have gotten into a debate with them about, which is why I wished the interview hadn’t been scripted. One such topic was their response on how to use Law of Attraction principles to lose weight. I thought this was a great question, however I sooo didn’t agree with their answer!

The authors stressed how important it is to change your thinking to lose weight, which I agree with 100%; however… they suggest that is all you need to do! That diets and exercise are not required to lose weight; you simply have to change your thoughts.
Personally, I think such a statement is equivalent to performing malpractice. They run a high risk of influencing people into the delusion of thinking they can simply think their way thin. And if anyone has done this, having maintained the same eating patterns, diet, not changed their exercise routine or taken medication to stimulate weight loss – I want to hear from you!

You will be much more successful in losing weight by changing your thoughts about both yourself and food - absolutely - and by also changing eating patterns and adding exercise to your routine.

You need it all!

And it doesn’t necessarily matter where you start. A change in your though patterns will often lead to a change in a physical habit – just like a change in a physical habit can lead to a change in your thought patterns.

Every so often I’ve gotten to a point where I need to lose 5 or 10lbs. What I’ve done for years when this happens is I start by “seeing” myself as looking and feeling fit, being more comfortable in my clothes and feeling healthy. Each time, within a relatively short period, my physical appearance reflects my vision. However those thoughts and images led to different CHOICES, ACTIONS AND ACTIVITIES than the ones added the 5 or 10lbs on to me in the first place.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Albert Einstein

As I make a conscious choice to not buy any more potato chips for awhile, I buy more healthy snacks instead. Suddenly, without much effort, my cravings for the “less than good for me” food subsides and I’m craving more veggies and the food combinations that I know are better for my metabolism. As my eating patterns change, I feel more energized and naturally inclined to increase my running back up to 5 to 7 days a week when I’d may have been down to 2 or 3 days a week. Conscious choice and action needs to follow intention (intentions are thoughts) – and often inspired intention leads to our naturally making more beneficial choices without having to put too much “hard effort” into it. And yes, other times it takes a lot of self discipline and commitment to change and to continue making the healthier lifestyle choices.

A change in thoughts can create miraculous changes in our lives (I believe miracles can be everyday occurrences). It can help make certain choices more natural and easy. Please do not delude yourself into thinking that one changed thought without being proceeded by any aligned action, will result in your desired outcome 100% of the time. When it does, it means you already held all the other necessary beliefs and attitudes for it to happen. But it doesn’t always work that way and this is where people can get themselves in trouble. Most people have so many conflicting beliefs and attitudes running rampant in their unconscious minds, that without intimate and honest self reflection, they don’t know which are in conflict with their desired outcomes, let alone the ones they “personally” need to adopt in order to lose weight at the “flip of a thought”.

When it comes to consciously creating a healthy body, actions need to speak just as loud as words!

More on the topic of beliefs, attitudes and magically manifesting miracles in my next post!